I was feeling pretty crazy. At work, we were discussing possible advertising campaigns, and some novel ways to display our product. There was a mention of cubes and my mind went wild running at 100mph and catching on electricity. I wanted to make an instillation with these cubes. I also, had this idea that the cubes could only be seen from four sides and well my idea proved to be mathematically impossible. But, I did sit for the six hours toying with the idea until math said it was ok and that it could work.
I've been very disappointed in myself because I can either be an accomplished poet or an accomplished publisher. Before you say, "you can do both!" think about it this way. You can't easily live two lives. Or I can't for that matter. I discussed this dilemma with several people; unfortunately the majority of them were writers. One of them even said, "I declare you a writer." Funny, the entrepreneur I asked responded, "There, you chose. You're an entrepreneur."
I call bullshit. Their methods of deciding were loosely based on the way I present myself to them. So, I had to ask my family. As it turns out, there are two sentiments coming from my family members. One is, I can do whatever I want as long as I am happy*. Sentiment number two, I want you to be successful, which might mean you need to make money.
Well, after analyzing the careers of my family members I came up with a solution. My family** has a dominant line of successful business owners. My father said one day, I'm not going to work for a contractor I'm going to be my own contractor. So my dad does house building jobs. He also prides himself in doing creative interior design on ceilings, walls, and floors. He has pictures of amazing ceiling designs that he has made for people.
My grandfather said one day, well I can sort of work for this bakery and buy their bread, ride my bicycle around town, and sell their bread. My uncle on my dad's side did something similar. He has a cart that he parks on the side of a busy street and sells corn.
My mother sewed, crocheted, and even cooked delicious tamales and sold these to friends and strangers at the local flea market. My grandmother used to make pillows and sold them at the flea market too. My uncle on my mother’s side mixed house paint and sold it at the flea market and now he and his wife have expanded and sell house paint in three locations and have several loyal*** employees.
Anyways, the people in my family that don’t work for themselves have a career or are bums. After figuring out all that I had to analyze my choices more. Here are some thoughts:
1. I will be working for myself if I am either a writer or a publisher. That’s reassuring.
2. I will be able to express my creativity to its fullest if I am either a writer or a publisher. That’s good too.
3. I will put to good use my lovely degree if I become a publisher.
4. I will put to some use my lovely degree if I become a writer.
5. I will go through some very difficult times if I am either a writer or a publisher.
6. I will find great happiness if I am either publisher or a writer.
That’s the important part. If both paths make me happy then I can choose either and have a wonderful life. However, I did go to a fancy school. This fancy school was really expensive. One day I’m going to donate lots of money to this fancy school so that the silly air conditioner works fantastic in the art building. Maybe, I should just commit to being an entrepreneur that has the future of being a multi-business owner. If I choose one path and it doesn’t work out I could always start again on the other.
What do you think? What will you be doing with your life?
*Couldn't you have said this 10 years ago.
**This excludes adopted members, some members on my mother's side, and my half brothers and sisters.
***As well as many disloyal employees who steal paint and money.