Thursday, July 22, 2010

How to Easy-Mac

College Student Edition

Easy-Mac comes in either bowls like SpaghettiO’s or pouches like hot chocolate. I bought a box of Easy-Mac “made for the microwave” pouches the other day and started experimenting. I just made the perfect Easy-Mac. Forgive me I found this amusing.

Easy-Mac is supposed to be easy. But, cooking things in the microwave requires serious skills. For example, you can’t just put your bowl of macaroni with water and expect the water not to over flow. Let’s just say I didn’t visit the microwave for a while.

To make the perfect Easy-Mac pouch you need the following: a nice big bowl, a fork, a microwave, and the Easy-Mac pouch. Got them? Good.

Step 1. Admire the pretty pictures, frown at the terrible print quality, and skim the directions. Then separate the cheese pouch from the macaroni pouch. Pour the macaroni into the bowl.

Step 2. Now, according to the instructions take 2/3 Cup of water and poor into the nice big bowl. But, you’re a college student you don’t have money for measuring cups duh that’s why you eat Easy-Mac. So, take the empty macaroni pouch and fill it up half way using your awesome Wing-It skills. Pour the water into your nice big bowl.

Step 3. Put your nice big bowl into the microwave and nuke it for 3-4 minutes. You have two options dear friend. You can leave the microwave and come back in 3 minutes or you can stand by it in case your nice big bowl overflows. The adults will tell us that we should stay near our food when it’s cooking. I’m not going to be a hypocrite over this and I’ll let you decide.

Step 4. So Ding, it’s done. Yay! Little grasshopper I hope you’re wearing a shirt because the nice big bowl is going to be hot. So, use your awesome Wing-It skills and take the nice big bowl out of the microwave using your shirt as oven mitts. Your shirt will be called Micro-Mitt for the rest of this article.

Optional Step. Take your Micro-Mitt and hold your bowl as you drain off some of the water. This will only be necessary if your Wing-It skills failed you like they did on your first college exam.

Step 5. Take the cheese pouch and poor it into the bowl and mix your cheese! Or grab your Micro-Mitt and take your nice big bowl back to your room. You can just mix your cheese when you get back since you’re dying to write your essay.


Anyways, there ya have it. That’s how you make the perfect Easy-Mac Pouch. By the way, “just adding boiling water will not cook macaroni.” Aren't these great phone photos?


Monday, July 19, 2010

Coming and Going

Her response lingered in the air.
Unprecedented beauty simmering;
Lavashing her core of desire.
Her fire is quite the hassle
Never quenching
Always asking for more.
But, in our brief affair
She asked to be dominated.
Is it any worth perusing
The contours of her soul?
Should I let her go
Like the passing thought
Of her coming in the afternoon
Sunlight and her going
In the early dawn.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Life Choices

I was fighting with myself on Friday. I was torn between working and running a business for the rest of my life or writing and creating things with my hands for the rest of my life. In short, I could be an entrepreneur that becomes a multi-business owner or I could be the jerk writer/artist/priest type that performs mostly every day of the week and travels the world and lives in the mountains or on the side of the sea.

I was feeling pretty crazy. At work, we were discussing possible advertising campaigns, and some novel ways to display our product. There was a mention of cubes and my mind went wild running at 100mph and catching on electricity. I wanted to make an instillation with these cubes. I also, had this idea that the cubes could only be seen from four sides and well my idea proved to be mathematically impossible. But, I did sit for the six hours toying with the idea until math said it was ok and that it could work.

I've been very disappointed in myself because I can either be an accomplished poet or an accomplished publisher. Before you say, "you can do both!" think about it this way. You can't easily live two lives. Or I can't for that matter. I discussed this dilemma with several people; unfortunately the majority of them were writers. One of them even said, "I declare you a writer." Funny, the entrepreneur I asked responded, "There, you chose. You're an entrepreneur."

I call bullshit. Their methods of deciding were loosely based on the way I present myself to them. So, I had to ask my family. As it turns out, there are two sentiments coming from my family members. One is, I can do whatever I want as long as I am happy*. Sentiment number two, I want you to be successful, which might mean you need to make money.

Well, after analyzing the careers of my family members I came up with a solution. My family** has a dominant line of successful business owners. My father said one day, I'm not going to work for a contractor I'm going to be my own contractor. So my dad does house building jobs. He also prides himself in doing creative interior design on ceilings, walls, and floors. He has pictures of amazing ceiling designs that he has made for people.

My grandfather said one day, well I can sort of work for this bakery and buy their bread, ride my bicycle around town, and sell their bread. My uncle on my dad's side did something similar. He has a cart that he parks on the side of a busy street and sells corn.

My mother sewed, crocheted, and even cooked delicious tamales and sold these to friends and strangers at the local flea market. My grandmother used to make pillows and sold them at the flea market too. My uncle on my mother’s side mixed house paint and sold it at the flea market and now he and his wife have expanded and sell house paint in three locations and have several loyal*** employees.

Anyways, the people in my family that don’t work for themselves have a career or are bums. After figuring out all that I had to analyze my choices more. Here are some thoughts:

1. I will be working for myself if I am either a writer or a publisher. That’s reassuring.
2. I will be able to express my creativity to its fullest if I am either a writer or a publisher. That’s good too.
3. I will put to good use my lovely degree if I become a publisher.
4. I will put to some use my lovely degree if I become a writer.
5. I will go through some very difficult times if I am either a writer or a publisher.
6. I will find great happiness if I am either publisher or a writer.

That’s the important part. If both paths make me happy then I can choose either and have a wonderful life. However, I did go to a fancy school. This fancy school was really expensive. One day I’m going to donate lots of money to this fancy school so that the silly air conditioner works fantastic in the art building. Maybe, I should just commit to being an entrepreneur that has the future of being a multi-business owner. If I choose one path and it doesn’t work out I could always start again on the other.

What do you think? What will you be doing with your life?



Sopphey Says: Life Choices


Side notes:
*Couldn't you have said this 10 years ago.
**This excludes adopted members, some members on my mother's side, and my half brothers and sisters.
***As well as many disloyal employees who steal paint and money.