End of the Year Musings

So I’ve started working on my New Year’s resolution already… to update my blog. Yay! Last year I posted “End of the Year Thoughts” it’s a list of memorable things I said and things people told me. I thought about doing that this year too. However, I say a lot of stuff and people tell me things I don’t want to hear. Plus, at 22 I can successfully boast that I’m losing my mind. I can’t remember “top memorable lines,” for 2010.

But, I do remember other situations, feelings, and random musings. This year I’m going to post what I can remember:
1. top memorable things I said or situations
2. lines said to me
3. words I wish I said
4. words I wish I hadn’t uttered

TOP MEMORABLE LINES I SAID

+ Maxi (the chihuahua) I’m not your bed.
+ “Sopphey Vance is now in a relationship with Abigail Mathey,” a short lived Facebook romance. My uncle probably thinks I’m a lesbian now. Sorry, I can’t be Catholic or go to Heaven with ya!
+ In the end; I do what I want.
+ You’re broken.
+ Bite the knife and keep running.
+ No it’s not a scam.
+ I have a wicked idea.
+ Go away. (Best phrase in the entire universe!)
+ C’est la vie. No refunds.
+ Yes, I’m a cardinal.
+ You’re listening to WITR 89.7, I’m Sopphey and you just heard from
+ I’m not sorry.
+ Why aren’t a lot of awesome people?
+ Why don’t people try to be happy?
+ Thank you.
+ I have to be in ten different functions today. I won’t be back till late at night.
+ Seriously, who has musicians and poets perform at their birthday party anyways. I do.
+ I hate them all. I don’t want to go back home.
+ More techno!
+ I tried so hard.
+ I’m crazy.
+Sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been working.
+ Let’s have a huge concert on the roof on the night of Imagine RIT.
+ Professor, why are you still up? I guess we can stay up late together (we stayed up till around 4AM).
+ Hey you want to be the bouncer?
+ 4 Babies! Who’s the father? Next time on Maury..


LINES SAID TO ME

+ You’re a computer whiz, you could find out how to keep me in the loop.
+ I know, not your problem.
+ I remember those days.
+ Keep in touch.
+ Can I still think about you?
+ I know, I know as long as I don’t tell you.
+ Go get a job.
+ Do the dishes, take out the trash; are you going to wait for me to get back from work?
+ Are you serious?
+ Seduce me!
+ What’s your updated address so we can send you your diploma?
+ IDK how I could ever pay you.
+ “What about Sarai?” Silence. “Don’t worry about it. She’s not invited.”
+ You’re lucky we still kept them. Most of the paintings that were left over were thrown away.
+ “Are you sleeping here too?” Response: “No.” I grin, “we’ll keep the door closed.”
+ Kill your baby. (design class)
+ All my friends had their roommates there but not me. I mean, I’m not super upset at you because you loaned me your camera but seriously… why couldn’t you go?
+ Hi! Do you remember me?
+ Hey… you actually failed the test. Sorry, about that.
+ How was your Birthday Party? I wanted to go.. but… (lame excuse)
+ RIT Makes the Switch to semesters in 2010 to which “we” responded: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJXuuHNrcpA
+ Your poem/poems have been rejected. Hey buy our magazine.
+ Hey can you fix my resume/business card/website… this other designer just; please help me.
+ You look tired. You should get some sleep.
+ She’s safe there.
+ Too much snow.
+ You changed. Before, you used to be printing all the time and now you’re all business.

WORDS I WISH I SAID

+ Yeah. I fucked up.
+ I miss everyone more than I let on. But, I can’t cross the gap to actually say so.
+ I do apologize. But, I’m totally not sorry for that.
+ Congrats everyone who worked on the magazine! For a team of 2 designers, 1 printer, and 1 web programmer we did a fabulous job. This magazine is amazing and I’m glad we worked hard till the end.
+ No, I don’t have time to fix your resume. Please, go away. Instead of, “yeah, I’ll help you. Let’s talk when I get back home.”
+ No, I don’t want to help you. Get someone else.
+ Really, I want out of this.
+ I’m not sorry if you think I’m slacking at my ‘amazing’ job as dishwasher. You’re biased, a terrible manager, and if you watch so much more TV while you work than I do in a month.

WORDS I WISH I HADN’T UTTERED

+ As per our earlier agreement… (actually I only wish I hadn’t sent that email 1% of the time… that counts right?)
+ “I have this business idea for a publishing company. Similar to the pitch I gave in class.”
Response: “Ah, well, I think they’re interested in companies with high potential.”
(You seriously can’t tell a technology company the odds and ends of a publishing company. They obviously discredit printing and books as a viable market. It’s not worth your time.)

I honestly only regret not saying things... that’s the way life should be. Thank you everyone who’s been a part of my life in 2010. There are obviously more things I said that were memorable (even though I can't remember them at the moment). I'm hoping next year will give me more memorable moments. Happy New Year!

Oh! Top 2010 Blog posts *because they're awesome*

When things irritate you
Flight 63
The Way
C'est La Vie
Pretzels
Life Choices
How to Easy Mac
Anniversaries
Pancake Investigation

Hey Look at this!

Pancake Investigation

Pancake Investigation
ToRI MaX

A ToRI Thursday Special

Tell me this. What did you learn from your dad? I don’t think I learned that much from my dad. It’s like he was there, but not there, two places at once. Maybe it’s because he was always in and out of my life like that, my memory is jogged and simple things remind me of my dad. This sometimes makes me wish I had a normal family. Sometimes I wish that I had a supportive father. Physically my dad was alive, but he was never there for emotional support (I guess like a father figure is supposed to be). One of the things that remind me about my father is pancakes. My father was useful for one thing, he taught my sisters and I how to make pancakes.

I had forgotten what he taught me. I only remembered this lesson because my older sister taught me again. Not that many people know my father’s secret, but I’ll do you a favor. I will tell you the secret art of making pancakes… thus begins the pancake investigation! The pancake investigation in which I make pancakes from scratch! The one thing you have to remember in cooking is to have fun, and try to be precise in your measurements when cooking (so I guess you have to remember two things).

Anyways the point is having fun! I have a cookbook (although not a very good cookbook), and I tried to use the pancake recipe from this book. Unfortunately, I was missing apple juice. Another thing, before you start a recipe you have to check your kitchen first. Luckily, my sister had another recipe for pancakes. I was saved! I continue with my pancake investigation by combining all the ingredients. The first batter contained my secret ingredient French vanilla coffee powder, and the second batter did not have any cinnamon. Listed below are the ingredients for the pancake recipe.

This is the one I was trying to imitate

Whole Wheat Flour, 1.25 cup
Baking Soda, 1 tsp
Splenda No Calorie Sweetener, 2 tbsp
Skim Milk, 1 cup
Eggbeaters, .5 cup
Vanilla extract, 1 tbsp
Cinnamon, 2 tbsp

Directions ( I didn’t follow to the nail)

Mix flour, baking soda, and splenda in bowl. Mix milk, eggs, and vanilla in another bowl. Beat into dry mix roughly, so as to add more air to mix. Stir in cinnamon last. Serving size is 1/3 cup mix. Use PAM on skillet when cooking and sweeten with sugar free syrup and/or fruit!

Serving size is one pancake. If you use less than 1/3 of a cup batter (like 1/4, or 1/6) you can have two for 100 calories! Smaller, but more!

Number of Servings: 8

This is what actually happened: I combined 1.25 cups of Regular Flour, 1 tsp Baking Soda, 2 tbsp of Regular Sugar, 1 cup of Skim Milk, 1 egg, and 1 tbsp of Vanilla extract.

As for the finer details of my investigation, I will pull two quotes from my sister. According to my father (re-taught by Sopphey):

1. Don’t eat the first pancake, until the second one is made. (I guess this is because if you eat the first pancake before the second one then you won’t have any pancakes on your plate. Then, it’ll be like you never started cooking pancakes. So, you have to wait!)
2. You cut a thick slice of butter from the butter sticks and spread it on a heated pan with your index finger (preferably, just let the butter melt on the pan). After this you don’t put anymore butter on the pan.
3. You pour some batter onto the pan, you wait until you see bubbles all over the surface before you turn the pancake over.

Once your pancake is flipped over, you can cheat like Sopphey does and constantly peak underneath the pancake to check if it’s done. You can also just wait until you start seeing some small smoke from underneath the pancake. Watch the pancake though and don’t burn it.

What?! I forgot to mention how my pancakes turned out. Well, they were a complete failure. Now, don’t let this stop you from trying the wonderful recipe above. I lack in cooking skills right now, but I plan to get better. Thus concludes the pancake investigation! I did learn something from my dad. Now, I hope you learned something from me. Don’t forgot it!

--

So what do you think? ToRI Thursdays yes/no?

Our Twisted Nightmare

I think I finally finished setting up Our Twisted Nightmare (OTN). I'd say it's at it's 1.2 stage, meaning that it only gets better! Sometimes, I feel like I have to explain myself to people... but I know I don't. It's just some people don't see the correlation between all my different interests. But, it makes the On Impression Network and On Impression unique... because I'm unique (aha!).

It's always better to be unique anyways. Being too mainstream and going with the wave is dull and silly. Out of all the On Impression Network sites I'm rooting for OTN the most because OTN is very important to my youngest sister. It's almost like all the problems because of her for the past 10 years will mend or fade away. The scars will stop itching and heal. Etc, etc... I'm probably going to write about her a lot when I finally start *writing my memoir*...

Well, I hope everyone enjoys Our Twisted Nightmare. I invite everyone to release the darkness inside... kinda like that song by Staind...

For A

I feel love from the heavens.
When love is abundant, I’m happy.
Happiness sprouts from love.
Love for yourself, for your brothers,
Your sisters, and your significant other.
When there is little to no love, I fall.
I fall down, down, down
Past the sliding door into darkness.

You asked me, “How do you I find love.
I’m nearing the last few pages of my book.
I’ve had no love
no marriage
no kids
no family
no friends
no emotions
no fear
no desire
nothing
but, I realize now that I’m lonely.”

In our youth we seek the comfort in others
In our prime we befriend and make enemies
In the end we revert to our youth
We still try to find comfort in others

Seek love and happiness
In you
In what you do
In the world around you
There are no guarantees

Go on an adventure

-----

So I'm probably going to upset people but the title of this poem is actually "Go On An Adventure." I just really think that the title should read last unless it contributes to the poem. For example:

(by Williams Carlos Williams)

This Is Just To Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Merry Chrismus

(Talking to God)

It’s Chrismus again and for the first time in 22 years I went to Christmas Mass. It was fantastic, row after row of half filled seats with people who for once were Jolly. It was great! A lot of people were in the spirit of Chrismus, love and happiness. All them old folks, youngins, and inbetweeners were grinning in love and happiness for the assumed birth of a man named Jesus Christ.

Life is good like that. I sat in the pew, stood when they stood, and even stood out of the way as the people in my row went to receive a blessing. I listened to the songs of glory, to the sermon of their God, I even paid attention to the story the priest told.

A man and a woman died on the eve of their 43rd anniversary. For years, the woman would open the parish in the morning for prayer. The parish loved them, and all grieve for their death. It happened quietly, slowly, and effortlessly. The two died of gas poisoning. Their son and grandson are still in a comma. Their daughter-in-law survived as she had stayed at her sister’s house.

The priest relayed the tale and informed us of how kind their God is for keeping us alive. He reported that we never know if we’ll make it to the next Christmas or the next New Year.

But, that’s not all that happened at Christmas Mass. There was singing, the first song was “Feliz Navidad,” and the last had to do something with fish kissing something. I wasn’t there to participate in the Christmas Mass. I was there to see if people were in the Chrismus spirit and to talk to their God.

Listen, you’re doing wonky things again. You have a lot of people who depend on you and you need to follow through. They’re all here for you today and they come back Sunday after Sunday. You know how they relish in your gifts of life, so take care of them more. Too many of them are crying, tired, and dying. Just please care. They need love and happiness.

It's Hot

giant umbrellas

serenading the winter sky

as cowboys and sailors

in the warmth of their nation

receive sunburns from

the omnipotent sky

there is no rain

there is no snow

it's hot

blind rage

my favorite song today

is only four minutes long

but thirty seconds are wasted

on white noise for the mind

i need those four chords

to blare a bit longer

to take with them the anger

eating away at my eyes

because they hurt

a fear for us all

Ranting

First night of down and gritty, nit-picky, pulling out punctuations like pulling out teeth... editing has gone "well." My super linear brain just takes over and mangles every line a poem. It chews the head off of prose, and my goodness it sets a prose-poem along side a ruler to see if it's a perfect fit! It's tiring; I hate it. Why can't stuff come pre-edited, ya know? Or better written... just kidding. Everything is nicely written it's just the small bumps that need a good sand-down.

I know that not all work can be perfect and my stuff is far from refined... but this is my goal. I intend to make Enhance a refined, polished, literary and art magazine one issue at a time. I also want to sit with a piece and notate it's odds and ends. Edit it word by word, line by line, sentence by sentence but that's time consuming and... yeah I'll do if it I got money for it.

I wonder if people pay cool people like me to edit their poems, prose-poems, essays, stories, or narratives... that'd be a nice side job.

Anyways, I hardly rant in public, so I apologize. Just please, don't double space stuff anymore and try using em and en dashes appropriately. Quotations don't substitute for punctuations such as periods... and a comma is kinda necessary when you have a quote in a sentence. Don't lump all your dialog into a paragraph. Drive by writing gets shot.

Anyways say hello to your new best friend: