Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Black Hole Method

Another late night editing, reading, editing, reading, and random online quizzes. The online quizzes part doesn’t happen as often, though. I’m feeling slightly mean right now, mean as in picky. Way too picky. I think it’s a good thing for editors to be picky. They get to pin together epic while slowly dissolving weak.

Every editor has their own method to picking out the gems from a basket. There’s this one theory that says that a piece of writing needs to be clear and concise so that a person who has no idea of the subject can understand the piece. This method works if you’re reading prose, or boring prose, or not so obscure poetry. But, it absolutely tanks when reading obscure and/or intensely-metaphorical poetry. At least for me it tanks.

I developed a new method that I’m going to call the Black Hole Method. Let me walk you through it. Pretend you’re sitting in a room. There’s no lights, no furniture, no color. Just you in the room. How would it feel?

Possible answers might be “sad, lonely, bored… bare.” Same type of feelings though. Now, take those feelings and read the work you’re editing/writing. Do your feelings change? Did the work pierce the wall of the room? Did it make you see something other than the room?

I’ve been using this method for some time now that I don’t ask myself these questions anymore. I just react to the piece. The better pieces make me react a lot and thus they are stronger pieces. The pieces that don’t cause any reaction at all aren’t as strong pieces.

Of course, some people might react differently to different pieces, but it’s a steady method to measure work. You should give it a try (and it’s definitely alright if you don’t react to this piece at all! Your opinions are your own).

It’s late. I’ll explain the most interesting online quiz ever on the flipside.

Friday, June 24, 2011

How to Oatmeal

The long awaited sequel to How to Easy-Mac.

Oatmeal comes in all shapes and sizes. Giant jars, bowls, or pouches like Easy-Mac. There’s a giant box of oatmeal pouches here and I figured I’d experiment different methods of microwaving them. I just made the perfect cooking technique for oatmeal. Forgive me, it’s tasty.

Oatmeal is “everyone’s” favorite meal. It’s so easy to make, so many flavors to choose from, you can add anything to it. I’m not one for crazy adventures with oatmeal and usually stick to the packet flavor. But, you can add fruit, chocolate, extra spices, and even bacon! I would totally eat my oatmeal with bacon. I haven’t yet though. It’s on my TO EAT list.

To make the perfect oatmeal pouch meal you need the following: a nice epic bowl, a trusty spoon, a microwave, and your favorite oatmeal pouch flavor.

Step 1. If your oatmeal looks like mine, you can pick any of the multiple instructions to briefly glance over. Then open the pouch, pour the oatmeal and flavor powder included in the package into the bowl.

Step 2. According to the package, you can add 2/3 cup of water or milk. I’m going with water because it’s least expensive and no one likes milk. Take your bowl and add water so that there’s a small thin layer of water over the oatmeal.

Step 3. Put your bowl into the microwave and nuke it for 1 1/2 to 2 minutes. You have two options. You can sit by the microwave and observe your oatmeal or you can go back to your desk and watch disturbing music videos.

Step 4. The microwave announces that the oatmeal is done, but you’re not stupid. The bowl is going to be hot. Watch another disturbing music video or pretend you’re on a bus in Texas.

Optional Step. Watch yet another video that makes absolutely no sense at all.

Step 5. After the video is done, you can retrieve your normal temperature bowl and eat your oatmeal. Because oatmeal rocks.

See, isn’t oatmeal delicious? That’s how you make the perfect oatmeal dish. Oh right, there are no photos. I’ve decided that oatmeal is not photogenic at all.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

that's why

the thoughts that lingered before
they don't matter any more
the people that came to play
they don't matter any more
the tears all dried away
they don't matter any more
the instances that were
they don't matter any more
no one wants to hear the
fragments left of the past
that's why it's ok to forget
in the end dementia is bliss

picked some flowers for you

and some pets too

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Really Cool

I know a lot of people won't think of things the way I think of them, but today something cool happened. See it all started last month when a friend of mine messaged me about some t-shirt logo design. I thought about it for a couple of weeks then somehow I found that someone else designed a cool design for the t-shirt. So, I figured that since they designed one then I didn't have to. It's sort of laziness, but my type of laziness.

Today, my friend and I talked and he asked me about the design. I replied something like this:
"Um. Well I did think of something. But, I thought [person judging] saw a someone's who was awesome. So, I decided to let that person have the awesome chance to win!"
My friend totally liked my explanation! I hope. But, that's not even the best part. The best part is that whoever wins this logo concert gets to get in free into the event. Now that's cool! Best of luck person!

Monday, June 20, 2011

MM 20 June 2011

This playlist is a result of my Saturday afternoon as I sipped Shipley's hot cocoa and eating a kolache.

Monday, June 13, 2011

MM 13 June 2011

Track List

1. Rihanna—S & M
2. Lady Gaga—Love GAme
3. Madonna—Beautiful Stranger
4. Ciarra Feat Ludacris—Oh
5. Adele—Rolling In the Deep
6. Mis-Teeq—One Night Stand
7. Joi—Lick
8. Cassie—Me and U
9. Nicole Scherzinger—Steam

Saturday, June 11, 2011

when the night is over

the laughter begins
the strange smells become
strange tells that haunt
the nightmares in your sleep

the lying begins
crazy aspirations become
strange inspirations that
wake you up and make you sing

the living begins
no more dreams no more excuses
it's one long trip
and stuck on repeat

the song starts
the tears gleam like dew
she dances on rocks
with her two bare feet


I want to go on a long walk.
A long walk, where no train
can be lost. Where no sign
of this present epiphany can
lie to me. I’m tired of lies.
Tired of my confusion getting
the best of me. Let there be silver,
let there be diamonds,
but gold is silence.
I’m going to walk until I get rich.

Friday, June 10, 2011

when your presence lingers

when your eyes unsettle the dreams
nestled in the tangles of my sanity
when your eyes disturb my one
moment of clarity as I weed out regret
when your tears clear away my blood
stained hands that hold onto life
when your tears see through to the
uncertainty in my words
when your presence lingers
the skies open up to the shimmer of the sun
when your presences lingers my life
swings on the pendulum of time

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Turning 30

Contrary to popular Youtube comments, this movie is actually decent. It’s a woman’s movie, with women-related themes, and of course a woman is the main character. There’s this unwritten rule that the world judges you. It all starts with your place of birth into the world. You know, are you born in the lower middle class, the middle class, or the upper class. Then after that you live the rest of your life comparing material achievements.

That’s what Turning 30 is all about, comparing material achievements. By 30, one either made it or floored it. Successful people are married, with children, and are enjoying star careers. Just so happens that if you’re single and 30, then you’re pretty much done for. At 30 you have to fight a whole generation of recent graduates who are anxiously fighting for a place in this world.

Naina, the protagonist, had everything to claim her mark. She had an absolutely endearing boyfriend of three years, a job in the creative department at an ad agency, and two college best friends. Everything was working out, it was only a matter of days before her boyfriend proposed, and her 30th birthday. Then, he breaks up with her, she loses her job, and the end of the world ensues.

End of her materialistic world. She feels hopeless, helpless, and fights to get her old boyfriend and job back. In the meantime, she keeps a written record of her trials, she doesn’t get her boyfriend or job back, but those writings saved her butt and she winds up with a publishing contract. (Read long version of plot here.)

In a way I completely connect with Naina. I feel that I have to bring out a long stack of achievements to fully grasp life. It’s stupid, I know. But, it linger on my mind. And, I’m really only 23… can’t wait to be 30.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Clearly Assholes

don't deserve feelings or else
they’d sing the seven heavens
until Judgment Day and back
through the birth of man twice over
new conceptions don’t phase us
but long time obsessions riot
through our overwrought blindness

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


like a wind-up toy
watch me go
letting sentences grow
business ideas flourish
and like a toy
once the machine stops
i'm stuck worst than
a jack-in-the-box in the box
ready to spring again

Bad News Bears

Bad News Bears (Widescreen Edition)Super Mario Bros.Because, it’s bad news, yeah it’s bad news when you spend a whole day watching movies. I mean, I guess it’s a good thing there are movies to occupy my insane wandering mind. Either way, two movies and the MTV Movie Awards filled my Sunday. First, we watched the Super Mario Brothers. It’s a classic 90s movie just like the Ninja Turtles flicks, Jumanji, Land Before Time, Rugrats, and so many other great movies.

Super Mario Brothers is always a fun time. Then there was Bad News Bears. Billy Bob Thornton is sort of funny. I first saw him in Bad Santa, a sad movie about a mall cop who gets it on with any willing female. Back in 2005, I saw the previews for Bad News Bears and thought ‘wow, it’s probably going to be sex-infested just like the other movie,’ and quickly eradicated the movie from my TO WATCH LIST.
Role Models (Unrated)
But it’s actually a clever film; I liked it. I hear the original film is cooler, but I’m not that enthusiastic about drunks, baseball, or movies featuring an older male character stuck coaching a bunch of little kids. Just not my bag. But, on that note watch Role Models, that one is pretty cool too.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Delusions begin

For fifty cents a piece
On all fours heading toward
The brightest star on my forehead
Shining the floor with your
Swollen, potholed tongue

For fifty cents a piece
On all fours, your head in between
Your legs as you climb up the
Space between Eureka and Nirvana
Polishing your eyes with sand

For fifty cents a piece
Your brain enters a state of
Nausea as your body hyper-bends
Into infinity one blood cell
At a time until you’re anemic

Then you die
Because you always die
At the end when your body
Returns to 98.6°
And the unicorns stop dancing

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

As much as people

say they care about you
they really don't
it's just one full arc of
manipulation, tears abound
the less informed no matter
all the the education we
receive we remain ignorant,
confused, obsessed with our
brainless matter that clutters
our creativity