Monday, April 30, 2012


Day 30 Poetic Asides: write a fade away poem. I’ll let you decide how to interpret what a fade away poem might cover.


by the old
winding road
mesquite grove
I lost
by the old
winding staircase
future adventures
I go

More poetry a day poems


I envisioned one of my last April Challenges posts to occur on Monday in the morning. Warm spiced tea near my desk, and a healthy dose of bacon and eggs for breakfast. But, I quickly changed my mind a little before midnight. I became determined to meet the last day of April by writing into the night. I caught up with my poetry a day prompts, wrote a new post for the new editorial calendar, edited my Twitter profile, and tweaked a couple of things on my company website.

I'm so pumped for the future. That I really couldn't think of a good letter Z. It's like my theme for the A to Z blog challenge dealt with self-discovery. I'm always in a process of self-discovery, which could be a good thing, or an absolutely wonderful thing! I want to say I feel like Zeuxippe right now.

Zeuxippe was a Naiad Nymph of the Eridanos stream near Athens. She was a wife and mother. But, I don't feel like her because I can be a great mother to my peers or a wonderful partner to be. I feel like her because there is very little ready-access information about her. Even though, I've discussed a lot about my personal feelings and or beliefs in the past 30 days... it's still not all me.

I am as much a mystery to you as I am a mystery to me.

More A to Z Challenge Posts

MM 30 April 2012

It's Monday again. Haven't made one of these playlists in a long while. Have a listen at Grooveshark, Spotify, or in the embedded playlist.

  MM 30 April 2012 by Sopphey Vance on Grooveshark

In this playlist:
  1. Sextape by Deftones
  2. Crystal Japan by David Bowie
  3. Mad World (Alternate Version) by Michael Andrews, Gary Jules (from the Donnie Darko Soundtrack)
  4. Low by Coldplay
  5. A Wolf at the Door by Radiohead
  6. Films - Live by Gary Numan
  7. Words So Leisured by Franz Ferdinand
  8. Little Round Mirrors by Harvey Danger (possibly a repeat, but it's an amazing song)
Check out some more Monday Morning playlists.

You can also check out my page to see what I'm currently listening to. What are you listening to this morning? 

Sunday, April 29, 2012


Day 28 NaPoWriMo prompt: write a poem of space.


The Old tunes played through
The Sony headphones
As she slid infront of the television
She stood in the three feet
Of space inbetween the two couches
She moved her hips to the right
Examined her reflection on the TV
Careful not to bump into the couches
Felt her knees give in, eyes closed
She eased her hips to their normal stance
Moved past toward her left
Right, left; left right
She lost track of direction
Music demanded more action
Her hips responded with large circles
Then her feet took their cue
Mimicking a camel steps
She walked around the living area
A mere eight feet to the front door
And back again to the television
Round, and round; Round.
Around, around, her hips moved
Round, and round; Round.
Around, around, her body moved

Number Two

Day 29 NaPoWriMo prompt: write either a clerihew or a double dactyl.

I tried a clerihew. Rhyming was never my friend. Amazing how you can cover the same topic with different words.

(using the NaPoWriMo rhyming scheme)

Cherrey's friend number two
Of the many she conversed with
Always praised her poetry and stories, too
He was quick to repeal a many writing myth

(using the Wikipedia rhyming scheme)

Cherrey's friend number two
Of the many she wrote poems to
Always praised her words
Encouraged her to look up Little Birds

More poetry a day poems

The Trouble is Corporations

Day 27 Poetic Asides prompt: take the phrase “The Trouble Is (blank),” replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of the poem, and then, write the poem.

The Trouble is Corporations

Corporate culture with their
High stakes games of profits
And losses while deals are
Made for the welfare of income
And the malaise of the Income Earner.
Corporate greed with their
High end escorts and multiple
Loans for their exuberant homes
Polished jets; freshly painted yatchs.
Corporate mantra of:
Live now, live faster.
Live for the riches
You'll be dead when the money is over.
It's never over for them.
They cheat for their green,
Golf on the freshly cut turf,
And highball into the next party
On the Income Earners future payroll.

More poetry a day poems

What problem?

Day 28 Poetic Asides prompt: write a problem poem.

What problem?

You think I have one?
Or two.
Three. No?
Just one that makes
Hundreds of problems.
I don't have a problem.
I can change my life
Whenever I want to.
I got a sweet deal
With the Big Boss,
Just one word;
Problems changed.
You're just jealous.
You can't ride with
The Big Games,
So you cry in your corner.
You wish you were me.
You're the one with problems.

More poetry a day poems

What is Mine and Meant to Be

Day 29 Poetic Asides: take a favorite line or image from an earlier poem this month and re-work it into a new poem.

I'm reusing a line from one of the most recent poem, What Is Mine. might sound too much of a prayer though. Prayers can be cool poems, too.

What is Mine and Meant to Be

I don't want to be entitled,
But I don't want to be jealous either
I want to be righteous,
But I fear I'm just a hypocrite

I want so much from this life
Expect so much from my peers
Push myself to a higher standard
Than the one I pretend to hold

I don't want to be tired,
But I don't want to appear lazy
I want to go beyond pretend
But I fear for my terrible performances

I want everything that is beautiful
Pack into my every waking hour
Lock up and pound at the sorrow
That I pretend to lose at sea

It's just an endless cycle
But, not predetermined
It's time be free from harmful desires
But, not give into self-righteousness

I want to help others
Pack away their insecurities
Be there for them
And pave a new future

More poetry a day Poems


Years, I'm convinced it takes years. Lots of years, to perfect your craft, at least for me. It's taken me 14 years to get to this point in my writing. I'm excited, but more terrified too. I'm excited because of all my accomplishments so far. I'm testing the waters as a writer, getting a feel for what kind of work is being published. I also have a new experimental perspective in terms of being selective in terms of where I submit to places.

I'm using Duotrope right now, because it neatly categorizes markets by a million variables. Markets that have a little over 80 days without a response appear as "Do Not Submit" signs to me. Also, markets that have zero acceptance reports on Duotrope are pretty scary. I understand that not all submitters use Duotrope, but when hundreds of Duotrope submitters are rejected... frightning. Actually, this whole paragraph is pretty scary. Thinking like this won't get more submissions sent out.

So, different tactic. I'm the world's most impatient person I know. I'm going to use this to my benefit. I'm going to hunt down magazines and blogs with deadlines. The reasoning behind this is that I'll know my submission status after the deadline and right before the release. I can start using my Google Calendar (because I'm a Google Fan Girl) to create timelines.

For example, if I submit a story today to magazine X, the deadline is April 30, and the release date is September 1. Then, I can create a three different date reminders in my calendar to minimize my agonizing over an acceptance or rejection between today and September 1. This may lead to more writing and less agonizing!

Scenario 2: deadline is still April 30 and the release date is still September 1, but I totally miss the deadline. Then, I'll make a future notification for the next deadline with the names of the poems to submit next time! Whew, too much organization. Still, it's taken me years to get to this point, and it will take many more years to get this publishing thing done. Exciting, and frightning at the same time. But, it will get done.

More A to Z Challenge posts

May Madness

So, April's over-ish. I've completely ran my brain into a frenzy and I'm going to continue this frenzy into May. I'm convinced that since three of my erotic short stories found homes, that I can write a whole novel! Thus, starting in may I'm going to begin a sci-fi novel. I'm not really big into most sci-fi, just particular genres. Most of my sci-fi intake comes from movies about robots or video games coming to life.

In addition to working on this novel, I'm thinking of doing more challenges. I'm not committed to it yet, but I just might. The two challenges in question are Story a Day in May and National Picture Book Writing Week (NaPiBoWriWee).

I'll probably never be a picture book writer, but this sounds like a good segway into novel writing. Think about it, picture books have a complete 'story' in roughly 500 words. If I can create 7 complete stories in 500 words, then the odds of me completing a whole story in 2,000 words increases. Then, if I can create 30 complete stories that are each 2,000, my writing a novel at or around 50,000 words is a given.

It's madness to attempt this. Pure madness. But, I just might.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

What is Mine

Day 27 NaPoWriMo: write a nursery rhyme or clapping rhyme.

It doesn't hurt to try, here's a result. It's basically just a poem with repetitions.

What is Mine

Dear Universe, I'm ready
This time around, give me
A guy with muscles
Maybe, light green eyes
Someone who knows money,
Advertising, or PR
I want a guy with wisdom
Of ...well of the universe
I don't forsee this working

Let me try again

Dear Universe, I'm ready
This time around, grant me
What is mine and what is to be
Lead me to the twist in my path
That circles and crosses his
For nothing short than a lifetime
I want a guy with time
Time to be with me, of course
I can be patient, I can

This is unfair

Dear Universe, I'm not ready
This time around, just forget it
I have no choice but to accept
What is mine and meant to be
This path is a huge knee pain
I want to understand this path
That is destined for me
Where is my potential love interest
Is it really you, Universe?

Read more poetry a day poems

Goodbye Old Friend

Day 26 NaPoWriMo: write an elegy.

This isn't really an elegy, but it's a poem. Poems are good.

Goodbye Old Friend

The tambourine you gifted me
a few hours before I departed
home for winter break
Is long gone into some landfill
Slightly used, slightly cared for
A bit rusty, and with a sad jingle
It retired to the trashbin
Just like our friendship did

Read more poetry a day poems


Xerces is the name of a Deftones Song (Youtube Link to a Video).

Here are the lyrics (source AZ Lyrics):
Universe surrounds,
When you're ready
It waits for us to leave this earth
Come on,
They're calling the name out
I don't know I could stay or leave
Either way
Cause the comet can take us all the way through
Safe, heaven, new
I'll be waving, goodbye
Return to see everything looks the same
I don't know if the change made was grave
Cause the craving remains the same
Safe, heaven, new
I'll be waving, goodbye
I'll be waving,
I'm particularly drawn to this song, like most sad songs, because I can feel the music. OK, yes, everyone can feel music. You hear it, you move to it, it moves your feelings, and it affects your thoughts. But, it's songs like these where my mind goes into this special place I call the "No Fly Zone." Not everyone has a No Fly Zone. If you do, then you can probably describe it better than me.

The No Fly Zone, is that special place where you're not here nor there. You're engaged, yet you're distant. Caught in the motions, and wishing to be adrift on memories. Or like in the song, uncertain whether to stay or leave.


I love sound, sound translates into combinations of letters to form words. I love words. Words hang out; create meaning. Meaning runs down poems and prose like Mercury in broad daylight. This is not to say that you can't find meaning outside of words. No, not at all. But, words are a different experience. One of my favorite experiences.

I just found about Wordle from Rhonda Parrish, I think. At least I don't remember it being called Wordle. I ran my URL to see what kind of words I would get. I changed the settings to see the top 10 words and was surprised.

Top 10 words for Sopphey Says.
I'm surprised because these are the top 10 words for the first few posts on the blog lately. I know this because I only have one post with the word fiber! In addition to the blog URL, I added the whole text of the un-edited version of the poetry book I'm working on. Again, I changed the settings to see the top 10 words.

Mutual as in Mutual Friend, and not Mutual Affection.
According to the Open Office word program, these are the stats on those 10 words.

Times Used vs Words

19 Love, One
18 Like
13 Time
11 Just
9 Friend, Long
7 Felt, Thoughts
6 Mutual

It's an interesting representation since the poems are 2,460 words combined. I wonder what the top 10 words for edited version will be.

More A to Z Challenge Posts

Friday, April 27, 2012


I tend to hide a lot of me. I don't know why I do it, but I do and I intend to stop doing that. In particular, I hide how religious and/or spiritual I can be. Since April has turned out to be a month of confessions, I'll confess to being religious.

I am a pantheist. Pantheism is defined as "a doctrine that identifies God with the universe, or regards the universe as a manifestation of God." I wish I could go into extreme detail about what this really means to me, how I worship, and how this affects the people around me... but it's a lot. It's almost like writing an encyclopedia on a topic that's already been written.

Yet, my beliefs are very intertwined in the way I think & live and various ideas in older beliefs. I started to write these ideas down last year and haven't really gone back to add things. I intend to, though, one day, some day, when it's time to.

You can read a little bit more on my pantheism thoughts here.

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Thursday, April 26, 2012

No 1 Pillow Thief

Day 26 Poetic Asides prompt: write a poem about an animal.

Pictured: No 1 Pillow Thief & Me
No 1 Pillow Thief

I've had many pets
I've loved them all
And they've all loved me

From Spring baby chicks,
Black mischievous bunnies,
Tall mixed breed dogs,
Tiny white shaggy dogs,
To always fertile cats

But the little chihuahua
Has hung out with me longer
Roughly for eight years

He likes to sleep all day
Then sleep all night
When I sleep, it's with two
Pillows one for his snoring
Butt, the other for me

If I go out without a goodbye
He doesn't pause in his nap
For his favorite snacks

And when I get home
His whiny, jumping head
Begs for dinner, waits for me
To settle down and resumes his
Snoring, content and satisfied with love


I'm probably a hypocrite when it comes to this topic but maybe by posting this I'll get better at this. Venom, the stuff we eat is pure poison. There's nothing natural about liquor, processed chocolate with paraffin wax, or genetically modified foods. If we as consumers don't care about the foods we eat, then no one will. Producers of these foods, in particular, are the least caring of all. Producers of these foods don't want to satisfy us, they want to keep their shareholders full of dividends.

Some of our "favorite" products as a nation by their corporate sponsors .
What's wrong with the foods we eat? Other than corporation funding and corporation sketchy practices... Lots of things. Too many things to get into detail in one post and I'll probably never touch up on this subject ever again. But, I do want to make a few points.

1. Avoid High Fructose Corn Syrup, Partially Hydrogenated Oil, and weird sounding things like Natural Flavors. I don't care how many marketing departments will spin off these three ingredients, I just know they sound fishy and I don't want them in my food. If you're like me and can't avoid them completely (I'm a sucker for sugary drinks of all kinds) then at least limit your intake. Limiting is good.

2. Fiber sucks. I don't find anything appealing about fiber powders, fiber pills, high fiber complex bread, and anything that says fiber on it. However, I do recognize that some fiber is good. Oats & granola to start and fruits and vegetables too. Think about it, oats are nothing but fiber and granola mixes are mostly fiber and sugar. Fruits and vegetables are self explanatory. Definitely, avoid white sugars as those are liars! They lie in your blood stream for a super short amount of time making you instantly hungry again. Fiber, on the other hand, doesn't do that.

3. Fats & oils suck even more. I don't have a gall bladder (complicated story, let's just run with it). So every time I eat something high in fat I get all sickly in the stomach area. If I still had a gall bladder I'd die. Fats just burn slower and accumulate forever. I have no tips on fats but one: avoid them in high quantities. Also, avoid them "low fat" foods as most of the times they're either a) watered down or b) loaded with salt and or sugar.

4. Don't ever try a vitamin or pill that has not been at least been prescribed by a doctor some sort of science related person. I don't care if the package looks informative or if your neighbor is selling these because they tried them and it worked. Even if a doctor or medical field person suggests them, always take them with extreme care. If you take these pills and your stomach hurts, or shit is just not right, then stop taking those mother fuckers!

5. Be careful with your fish! Whoever started spreading the belief that fish is clean or whatever deserves a slap. There's so much garbage in our oceans, especially with all these oil spills, that I doubt natural fish is any clean. You know what's clean, air. Air is clean and tasty... wait a minute polluted air is not clean nor tasty.

Moral of the story (long rambling post) be careful and mindful of what you eat.

More A to Z Challenge posts

I Wonder

The Day 25 NaPoWriMo prompt was confusing so I decided to do a random nonverse poem.

I Wonder

I wonder if
I'm pretty enough
for him to think of me
his smile will ever
be mine long enough
the thorn paved roads
will ever get an upgrade
my stubbornness
can create a conversation for us
I wonder if
I wonder if

I wonder if
the skies will be pretty
for when and if we meet at sunset
my smile will be genuine,
a curve full of warmth
the path I walk will be gentle
and not take me in circles
there are enough conversations
that I can open up to
I wonder if
I wonder if

I wonder if
my fish-bone strong resolve
won't crumble under scruitny
the good intentions and thoughts
are not simple formalities
the hands we shake and hugs
we pass are not taken for granted
when the sun rises
I could forget all these wonderings
I wonder if
I wonder if

I wonder if
this will ever pass
because it's really annoying that
whether I'm pretty or not
for him or anyone
I'm going crazy
thinking too much
wondering too much
about him


Day 25 NaPoWriMo prompt: write centos — poems made up entirely of lines from other poems.

I borrowed from Edgar Allen Poe


Was but the mother of myself; but you
Darkly my Present and my Past,
And yet there is in this no Gordian knot
With the breath from their pail faces.
And the grandeur that was Rome.
The enamoured moon
Resignedly beneath the sky
The lily lolls upon the wave,
"How shall the ritual, then, be read?—the requiem how be sung

More poetry a day poems


Day 24 Poetic Asides prompt: write love poem or an antilove poem.

I think I'm still in the writing "love" poems phase.


We all have our daisy
The end person of our affection
The pattern to our thoughts
The spiral leading us blind
Drunk and delirious
We crowd around the daisies
Looking for love

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Thoughts on Soccer

Day 25 Poetic Asides prompt: write a sport poem.

Thoughts on Soccer


The announcer's voice rang
In the empty universtiy cafteria
The employees looked up
at the 17th inch flat screen
Screaming in return


Internally, I cried too
Disgruntled with Mexican Soccer
Wishing I hadn't forgotten
My headphones so that
I could tune out and listen to techno

More poetry a day poems

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

T-Time Management

I'm terrible at time management. Usually, I end up piling too much. It has to do with my perfectionist/over achiever streak that I developed in high school. My biggest over achievement moment in high school had to do with class credits. I had it all planned out, get As and Bs in four science courses, four technology courses, and skip into the top ten percent. Achieving that awarded me 2 ribbons and one medal for my grade school career and a neat scholarship for the beginning of my college career.

While in college I busied myself with a full time coursework, several leadership positions in various groups, a part time job, various design gigs, and parties. Work hard and party hard! Then I graduated, and my time went into one big project: work. I'm addicted to work and poorly manage all my time into one publishing company and one graphic design job. Sometimes I venture out of work to read a book or look up the latest technologies, but not really.

Work harder! Could be my mantra, but I refuse. I refuse to call it work. I want to spend long hours inside a studio, with paints or jewelry. Or creating different color effects in Photoshop. Or scribbling away long winded sentences about things I think about, or questions that haunt the corners of the bedroom. I want to sleep at ten in the evening and rise at four so that I can pretend to have stayed up all night. Pour some spiced tea and read the day's articles and listen to the wind play with the branches.

That's my time management dream. To create huge blocks of time in my day to create, create, create.

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Day 23 NaPoWriMo prompt: write an ekphrastic poem — that is, a poem that responds to or is otherwise inspired by a work of art.

Friend randomly suggested Sol LeWitt.

You heard it didn't you?
Gold pins sliding up
Over your neck, pricking
Inbetween your vertebrae
Until you decide to call out
To the wave of the wind
Molecules piercing your
Brain with elaborate
And unattainable dreams

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Monday, April 23, 2012


Day 22 NaPoWriMo prompt: write a poem about a plant.

Flowers bloom and flowers fall
Their petals merciless pulled
Young women crowd around
The pubescent wings of the bud
Relying on the divinity of the petal
Yanked to mean  'he loves me'
Crucifying the flowers beauty
For their insecurities about their love

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Day 23 Poetic Asides prompt: write a morning poem.

I've always enjoyed staying up till four
noticing the hour and willing my
adrenaline-high mind to endure
two more hours of work-wrenched
agony so that when the sun stroked
the clouds the sunrise would launch
off a rush of endorphins into
a soul-deep vibrato pushing me
into sleep

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Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Judge

Day 22 Poetic Asides prompt: write a judging poem.

Let the Judge rule the courts
Of disdain and entropy
Following a tethered book of
Loosely written laws
That allow our nation to stumble
Backwords, forwards, into a primitive
Dimension ruling, after ruling
Let there be no final ruling
Until the next court case
On the same topic
With added contreversies
Extra spice of disgust
And a dash of mistakes

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The first library book that I lost and considered never finding (so that I could keep the book) was about Saturn. It was one of those elementary books, hard cover, had like 20 pages, and was part of my elemantary science project.

Saturn was cool because it started with the letter S and my real name is Sarai. Saturn is also the sixth planet from the sun. It has beautiful rings, and cute moons. It's also pretty big and freaking cold.

Saturn was my gateway into loving science and space (which also start with the letter S). I loved science and space so much that I created a fantasy story with 'aliens' that looked like us humans. It was more a fantasy that had magic, some space crafts, lots of shapeshifting, and the occasional mass killings.

The writing style is awful, though. One day I'll have to go back and re-write it all from the beginning. But, it's a cool story and the only fantasy world I ever created. It's kind of cute how it all started because I liked Saturn.

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I like to spend waste a lot of time on reddit. I read world news, politics, science questions, quick image macros, relatively atheist posts, and the occasional comic. Sometimes I go out of my comfort zone and explore everything else.

I highly recommend reddit's random button, except that it has a very high possibility to take you to NSFW areas with nudes, and stuff-you-don't-want-to-see-ever.

Some of my fave things on reddit for the past week are the following:

1. Movies about games
2. Prom Pictures
3. Jesus Portrayals
4. RIT mentions
5. Misleading Design Help Questions
6. Article and Discussion on Wages
7. Texas Criticism in terms of abortion information
8. EFF!
9. Bi Party Idea
10. Question and Discussion on why poor countries remain poor Explained Like if I'm 5.

And my ulitmate favorite:

11. Printer Jokes

I like reddit too much.

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Day 19 NaPoWrimo: Today I challenge you to take a poem that already exists (it could be one of your own), and rewrite it so that each line is the opposite of the original.

I tried, here's my mixed result of this poem.

I make you want to sing when others cry
I make you want to love when others die
I make you want to kill when others love me

I make you stay away when you commit crimes
I make you love me when you sin
I make you hold me when you detest yourself

I make you want to build the Earth from the core out
but I'm doing it for you
I make you want to breed Evil
but I'm doing it for you
I make you want to kill for me
but I'm doing that for you

I make your blood run smoothly with ice
for my unholy existence, dirty, and sinister
when I help you in the time of loneliness

I make your eyes dry with affection
for my blotched existence, warm, friendly
I was the last, built what was broken

I make you mine every time I say your name
for my pain would be see no satisfaction if I didn't touched you
but I do

More poetry a day poems

Time to Sleep

Day 18 NaPoWriMo prompt: write a lullaby.

Time to go to where the time goes
Close your laptop and your notebook
Or I will close them and hide them
Let your long brown hair down
Or I will play with it until it unravels
Stretch your legs on your bed
Or I'll tickle them with kisses until they relax

Time to go to where the dreams play
Close your eyes
Or I'll kiss each one till sleepiness comes
Lay your body on your bed
Or I'll cary you to it and hold you captive
Stop thinking of world problems
Or I'll block all news sites

Time to sleep fearless love
Time to go to where the time goes
Time to go to where the dreams play
Time to sing in snores and short breathes
Time to rest for another journey
Time to escape the day's worries
Time to dream a good dream

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Down, Up, Down

Day 20 NaPoWriMo prompt: write a traveling poem.

Down, down, down
And out of the apartment
Red sunglasses, check
Red world in steady motion
Laptop in backpack, check
WiFi pending until the park

Up, up, up
Onto the bus and A/C
Cell phone, check
Texting the boredom away
Ringer off, check
Wishing the stares away

Down, down, down
Past the bus station
Stray clear of old men, check
They always asking for a date
Keep to the sidewalk, check
Then walking over the train tracks

Going down, down, down
One foot then the other
Looking up, up, up
Cloudless blue skies
Falling down, down, down
Down, down, down

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To Be

Day 21 NaPoWrimo prompt: write a hay(na)ku.

One Must
Be Unilaterally Good.

Told Me.
At 3 o'clock.

Laughed At
His Implicit Advice.

To Live
The Remaining Story.

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Carnitas A La Lazy (Sopphey)

Day 18 Poetic Asides promt: think of a favorite regional cuisine, make that the title of your poem, and then, write the poem.

One sartén
Lotsa beef
Cut in your favorite style
Slightly fill the skillet
With fresh tap water
Turn on high
Let it boil
Anticipate a splash of water as you flip the beef
Let it boil
Sit in agony as the beef turns brown
Take the skillet off the stove
Cut the beef with expert crazyness
Make polygons and squares
Fry the beef in its own grease

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To Where the Wind Blows

Day 21 Poetic Asides prompt: write an under the microscope poem.

To where the skies meet
With the endless ocean
I seek to examine alone

To where the bridges collapse
Over the crossroads of our Deities
I crave to carve a meaning

To where the rolls of paper
Cram into books and magazines
I revel in the scent of thoughts

To where the wind blows
I diligently follow
Inspecting every last turn

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When It Comes

Day 19 Poetic Asides prompt: write a life event poem.

That time of our life
When Spring no longer shines
When the everglades and evergreens
Lose their luster to our old,
Withered, and well-lived times
When it comes
We won't all be ready

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Friday, April 20, 2012


Queer. A term often used in the GLBT (LGBT, whatever) Community to not define and define people who are neither gay, lesbian,  bisexual, or transgendered. But, also used to define the entire Community (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, transexual, asexual, gender queer, etc). However, queer is also used by nonCommunity members as a derogatory term. I think it's a great term for people who don't want to label themselves or can't label themselves into a particular group (See examples.)

I've been wondering about the term queer since I first came out as bisexual in 2006. It wasn't a complete coming out as I only told a couple of people, but it was a huge step for me. Since then, I've been going on a constant self discovery and constant coming out (with a bit of humps here and there) journey by reading up on Community news, following issues, connecting with others, and learning the differences between Community groups.

What I've learned since then that "sexuality" is not the leading factor in deciding if you're Queer or part of the Community. Since we live in a gender society, we are lead by our beliefs of gender identity, gender behavior, and gender roles.

For example, I'm a biological woman (XX). Thus, under our gender society, I identify as a female, I behave like a female, and I assume female roles like mother, sister, aunt, etc. In reality, I'm biologically female (XX) and my body has hormones making me either more 'feminine' or more 'masculine.' I identify as a female (body feels like my body) and I assume a more masculine behavior (I'm not making this up. Once I got called masculine by a business professor!). Consequently, I neither assume a female role nor a male role in society. It's almost practically easy for me when I figured this out. I was in the process of trying to re-invent myself with a new name and all. Thus, I took a new first name and a new last name to represent my bisexual-bigender prism: Sopphey (female name) Vance (male name).

It's not so easy for other people.Here's another situation, Imagine if you're a biological female and you identify as a male. You behave ultra feminine at times making you a kind of feminine man, yet you also have moments when you're ultimately masculine. At the same time, you assume a female role and even dress as a female. Where would that leave you in the Community spectrum? In a very tight space between transsexual, gender queer, gay, and or transgendered? I can't answer that, it's a difficult question. Maybe this person will assume the term queer.

If anything, the GLBT Community is made of people who are not 'heterosexual'. Labels are for cans we're all people.

More A to Z Challenge Posts


Questions about poetry to myself:

How do poets make money by writing poetry? They don't.

How do poets get published? They don't. OK, technically they do. But, you have to be a very serious poet. Or, more like, your poetry has to be exceptional.

How does a poet get a book published? You can try submitting individual poems to the hundreds of small literary magazines. Or, you can submit a manuscript of poetry to competitions (usually charge a reading fee).

One day, I'm going to get my poetry published. Well, if you count college magazines, then I've gotten two poems published. In comparison to the two stories that got published and the third that will be published in the winter, that's pretty lame. I'm a poet, not a prosey writer. Or maybe I'm a fiction writer and the poet is just a dream. That would totally be unfair.

If I re-added Google AdSense to this blog, I'd make revenue off my poetry. If I became a better poet, I'd have more poems published in magazines. If I... submitted poetry manuscripts, well I'd still need to become a better poet. But, I can do this because everything in life is a poem.

More A to Z Challenge Posts


From the Greek equivalent to motion sickness, feeling sick, queasy, womble (thanks Wikipedia) we can deduct that nausea sucks.

I posted a couple of days ago a question on how to stop nausea. So here's a list of things I've tried:

1. Ginger or ginger ale.
2. Sprite, or lightly carbonated water
3. Warm tea
4. Fresh air
5. Sleep (don't know why this works like a charm for a lot of things!)

Maybe the ultimate cure for nausea is finding out your stressors. Like if heavy drinking the night before makes you nauseous the next morning, don't drink so much the night before. :)

More A to Z Challenge posts.


I'm not going to throw propanganda at you. I'm not going to tell you that Occupy is the best movement out there trying to find a solution to social-economic inequality. I'm not an expert in anything so I can't tell you anything really.

Oh, wait. I'm an expert in myself. There are many constants in life right now. Like pain, it hurts to design (hand/mouse/wacom tablet woes). I don't have health insurance and my shaky freelance career doesn't do well with welfare. So, I do the most logical thing for my situation. I self-medicate, get back to work, and hope that I wake up the next time I pass out (anemia, forget to eat, too tired, seriously depressed, etc).

I schedule my time by the irregular cycles of feeling pumped and feeling deflated and other body/mind cycles. Like I commented in Monique's blog about pain, I have two setings. Normal/Pain and Crying/Seriously Fucked. Crying/Seriously Fucked is reserved for when nobody is home and I'm left alone massaging the joints in my hands/icing them.

I'm also part of the lower class (higher-lower class if we want to get into specifics) and I have to pull myself out of my problems on my own. That is my existance. I am part of the 100% of the Earth. I am one of those crazy hippies because I live through social-economic injustice. This, is why I believe in Occupy.

It's not all about taxing the richer, helping the poorer, creating jobs, funding medical access for low-income womenNo, it's all this and everything. It's about forging a community (some say of individuals) of peace, where we can preserve our 'human' rights, and protect our own. Well, that's what idealist-me says anyway.

Read more A to Z Challenge Posts

Thursday, April 19, 2012

It's That Time


Giving you a seizure one design at a time?

Enhance is looking for submissions for our 8th issue. This issue begins the third year of Enhance and my sixth year as a literary and art magazine editor. Not sure how that looks on my resume, but as a budding editor, I'm super excited!

I encourage everyone (I'm looking at you April Challenges folks!) to submit their poetry, short stories, or art! More info on submitting.

Also, for my readers and friends in Rochester, New York, keep an eye out for the new Signatures. I've heard great things about it!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


Day 17 Poetic Asides write a science fiction or fantasy poem.

Lost in an illusion
With a green carnation
In his lengthy black hair
Off into the sunrise
My beloved puzzling warrior
He rode on his dragon
With rainbow scales
A long soot path
Lies behind him
Where I stand

More poetry a day poems

Dear Green Car Plush,

Day 17 NaPoWriMo prompt: write an epistolary poem — a poem in the form of a letter.

When I wake up
from my dreams
on Calle de Dormir
You know I'm gonna be
Snuggling with you after
searching for the place where
blades of apple scented grass
grow and rainbow tasting air
fills my lungs
I walked roughly 500
miles back in time
to find that place where
Richard Steiff designed a soft
teddy bear

More poetry a day poems

Monday, April 16, 2012


Day 15 Poetic Asides prompt: use the following five words in your poem: slash, button, mask, strap, and balloon.


Strap on your water balloon filled
Vest and button up your gas mask
Slash your way to the finish line

More poetry a day poems

Sunday, April 15, 2012


Everyone has problems. A number of people believe that people like me make our own problems. But, I really did not will myself to spend six hours in a constant state of panic last night. It might have even been all day, I'm not sure anymore. I tried to fight it as best as I could. I scribbled in my notebook, kept repeating a prayer/mantra, wrote out song lyrics in my notebook, and counted my breathing. In the end, my attempts to keep the panic at bay failed.

Failed that day, not everyday. Over the years, I've learned that I can be naturally anxious. Accepting that fact has lead me to listening to fast tempo music, fast moving stories, shorter poems, and an incredibly fast working pace. A mistake, though, is that I forget the other side of the coin. The "normal" side where I'm in a conflicting state of sludge. I listen to slower music, fall asleep with slower stories, longer poems, and my work productivity goes down.

Consequently, I'm so complex that it's taking me an incredible long time to figure out all my stressors. I don't necessarily walk around on eggshells, but when an unexpected problem comes around I shut down. Shut down, give myself a timeframe to freak out, then I plan a way to get back up. Because panic attacks and the problems that cause them suck. They exist, though, and they must be dealt with.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

L-Lovely Poetry Book About Love

In particular, I'm talking about Rose Colored Lenses, Jaded Prescription. Now, I really should be thinking of something else (like the long work to do list, or the poems I need to catch up to), but no.

I first mentioned this book in the post G-Good Intentions. I wrote a little about how this book would be about unrequited love and being in the friendzone. The end result is a poetry book about juvenile love. The narrator is unsure whether she loves this guy or not. She also goes through polar opposites in some poems where she starts out praising the guy and ends up wishing him dead.

One of my alpha readers detests the narrator for being so immature about love. Yet, the reader also commented that the shorter poems were intense and that the reader felt the emotions with the narrator.

So, over all. I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful that I created a something that speaks in emotions rather than words. I just hope everyone likes it when I release it. Here's a preview of one of the poems as it is right now (Might change in the beta version of the book).

My Dreams

Some lead me over a bridge
Several have me bleeding to death
Ones of eternal love that end with a kiss
Last long enough to make me wish
That I could tell him how much I care
I wake up wishing he felt the same

Oh right, I'm self publishing this. I'm extremely against the current copyright monopoly and believe that every author should hold all copyrights to their works. This might change if my plans to continue my poetry education lead me to an agent and or a publishing contract, but for now it's the way it is.

I Doubt

Day 13 NaPoWriMo prompt: write a ghazal.

How about an almost couplet poem?

I doubt sleep's necessity in my life
like I doubt the need for food

I doubt it's power of restfullness
like the ability of Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga

I doubt willpower that keeps me standing
like my resolve to stop drinking espresso

I doubt the current legislators
like I doubt my knowledge of the law

I doubt the metrics on health care
like I doubt the ability of my anemic body

I doubt people who are older than me
like I doubt the wisdom I possess

More poetry a day poems

Meh Fill Eh Gazel #868

Day 12 NaPoWriMo prompt: try finding a short poem in another language (one you don’t already know!) and translating it homophonically.

I tried this, didn't find a short poem. Didn't translate it homophonically because I felt like I insulted the language. But, here's an experimental rendition of the translation! See original.

meh fill eh gazel #868

paba gill sab
highn reehaa
ee key
cah reh

dahst bastaa shahar
mehn hols meree
zanheer kahn

More poetry a day poems

Lying Season

Day 11 Poetic Asides prompt: pick a season (any season) and make it the title of your poem.

it's been lying season
since the first day I
told a lie

it wasn't a lie, really,
just pretended I was
a princess in the playground

but, it's a lie
it really is because
it's not true

i'm the greatest liar
i believe all of
my lies

even though i walk
around with pain
in my eyes

everybody sees it
nobody comments on it
because i choose not to

i choose to put it aside
pretend everything is fine
but, in the end it's all a lie

Something New

Day 12 Poetic Asides APRPAD prompt: take the phrase “Something (blank),” replace the blank with a word or phrase, make the new phrase the title of your poem, and then, write the poem.

rocking out the new purple
glitter nail polish
and showing off glimmering
nails to an old friend

reading a blog post
on road changing events
and sending a relevant
article to a new friend

underestimated the power
and my calves cried
until I saved them from
their plight by sitting down

More poetry a day poems

Friday, April 13, 2012


Day 13. Poetics Aside APRPAD prompt: write an unlucky poem.

everyone wants to believe
that the number 13 is unlucky
but, it's only superstition
Unlucky No 13 comes around
twelves times a year
visits us in seven day
variations to prove it's
charm and luck
but, we only want to believe
that it's unlucky and treat
it unfairly when the real
culprit is No 31
it only visits us
7 times a year

More poetry a day poems

Thursday, April 12, 2012


Day 11. NaPoWrimo. Write a poem using the 5 senses.

Are not gay
they're more ecstastic
like caramel sprinkled
chocolate dipped
Skittles vodka
melting on my tongue

Are the synchronized
tempos in underground
electronic rhythms
playing symphonies
in my supersonic
fluid dreams

Are more than
Newton's seven colors
They're a goldmine
of every color in
existance and every
color waiting to exist

Are the smells of
sweetened milk candy
following trails of honey
from one fork in the
road to the clearing
where we rest

Are the electrifying
impulses racing
through our blood
the edges of your
body linking to the
curves of mine

Read more poetry a day poems

K-Killing Time

Originally, I wanted to write a rambling post about John Keats and his poetry. That didn't work out too well. I'm neither in the mood to discuss Keats, his poetry, or the various films that try to explain him. So, I scrambled for another topic while cooking some lunch. I figured I could talk about Killing my stomach with Mexican food. But, I wasn't really excited about my lunch either.

Bad quality photo of lotsa beef.  Tons of leftovers.

Plus, when you write you're supposed to write about something you love. Or something you're really excited about. I'm super excited about killing time right now. I do a lot of things to spend time ranging from designing magazines, editing websites, hunting down 30 some pages worth of job boards, or browsing through various websites. Before the April Platform Challenge, I spent a couple of hours before bed reading through the “humorous” pages of because no matter how busy I can be, I'm still a high level information consumer.

I just have to absorb high levels of news articles, funny blog posts, technical documents, yeah basically anything that makes me think. I now kill my time reading fellow A to Z Challenge posts and fellow April Platform Challenge tweeps blogs.

I can't seem to find the names of the blogs I've read today, but you can check out the April Platform Challenge tweep list and scour their profiles for their blogs. I recommend them all.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Custom Mugs

I've always wanted to design custom prints. Like bed sheets, shirts, dresses, anything that has some kind of cloth pattern. Lucky for me, platforms like allow me to create customized items. This is one of my "prints" ideas.

J-Just Do It

I’ve been pretty honest on this blog lately. Not that I’ve been dishonest per se. I have a habit of not discussing myself, my feelings, or similar things. Which, there’s nothing wrong with that. I know a lot of people who only show one side of themselves and keep everything else to themselves. But, I am experimenting with this more open thing on my blog.

Enough rambling. (Not really, but I tried.)

Just Do It, is Nike’s popular catch phrase in the 90s. Oh, the 90s the days, when fitness shows became part of life, when sports movies held my attention, and when I wanted to be a cheerleader. Not really a cheerleader with pom poms, but more of a dancer-type. I was a chubby little kid back then and I loved to dance. Dancing was all about the groove, the feeling of blood rushing through your limbs, the movement, and the rhythm. If I heard a song that made my body moved, I danced to it. Life was linear like that. I just did things.

Then, I started thinking about doing things instead of doing them. I opened a book one day and decided to read stories instead of dancing. I read books instead of facing my young problems. Every argument I had as a kid ended with me either reading a book or writing away my counter arguments. This cycle of less doing and more thinking is part of the reason why I became less active and gained more weight.

It’s a vicious cycle. I am still thinking more and doing less. However, slowly, I’m trying to mold myself into a cycle of more doing and less thinking. It’s fucking difficult. Undoing a lifetime of inhibiting habits is a chore. But, there are so many good resources out there for people who need that extra bump.

I’m still not at the point of regularly tracking my health and wellness goals, but I occasionally use the following websites to help me:

There are probably other websites out there that combine all these tools, but these are the ones that work for me. Technically, I'm on a diet, but "being on a diet" is a fad. I'm on a lifetime nutrition and fitness expedition with highs and lows. Anyway, maybe this post will help others do more and think less about their personal lifetime nutrition and fitness expeditions. I'm done rambling for right now.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


[Day 10. NaPoWriMo prompt. Steal, by writing poems with their first lines lifted from other poems. With respects to John Keats.]

I have clung to nothing,
Lov'd a nothing, nothing seen
Or felt but a great dream!

I am being deceived
By my self-made folly
Refuting all logic

Tearing apart every
Accomplishment known
To have risen from

Long hours of labor
Tear stained efforts of an
Unbelievably sane maniac


I don't think I have Insomnia. I just have an insane will power to not sleep. I'm very much in favor of pushing the boundaries of sleep. I think the last time I had a solid sleep pattern was before my parents separated. Possibly, when I was six years old... I don't remember that far away, but it makes sense.

After my parents separated my mom had to become the 'bread' winner. She got a job at a 24-hour daycare (yes they exist). To our convenience, I spent a lot of nights at the daycare ever since I was seven. Children didn't sleep early in a daycare and I'm a light sleeper. It took years and years of practice of sleeping on the floor, carpet, tiny mat for me to practice the art of sleeping late.

This became useful when I was in high school. Especially, for my novel Internet and procrastinating homework habit. Fast forward to now and you have a very dedicated non-sleeper. Sleep is very important, though. You need at least 5-7 hours of sleep. One of my super-super long term goals is to sleep at night. Looks like I failed today, again.

Monday, April 9, 2012


I'm surprised I haven't blogged about Heik before. Heik is one of the characters in the story Strangers on the Horizon. The story reads like a collection of flash fiction stories instead of a short novella with chapters. In part, because I started the story from Heik's point of view and switched it to the main character's, Anna, side of the equation.

Sometimes, I wish I could be a bit better at editing my own work. It's a skill I'm slowly learning. In time, I will be able to rewrite the story and turn it into a polished manuscript for publication. It's just... my editor brain turns off every time I start reading it!

Well, enough rambling. Here is a preview of the second story/chapter from Anna's point of view.


Anna jumped onto the bed in the corner bedroom. Fifteen minutes, that’s all she had to rest. Even though it was near three in the morning, the butler had been clear that she needed “proper instructions,” before tomorrow. Or today, she thought as she kicked her shoes off and stretched her small feet against the white cotton sheets. Her green toenails stretched and touched the bed.

This was good, she stretched her arms and lay on the bed. This bed made the bed at Saharra’s club feel like hay. She lay in bed thinking of the night. She had a feeling about the person who sat next to Saharra the entire night. The same person who brought her here. She shivered. If she had stayed at Saharra’s… no she didn’t want to think of that. She turned and lay on her side, bringing the white pillow into her arms and holding it. Saharra’s had been the escape from Hector… no she didn’t want to think of Hector either. She sighed and closed her eyes. Two soft knocks brought her back from her daze. She eased off the bed and went to open the door.

“Hi,” Anna said to the three women at the door.

“Hi there,” said the tallest one as she pushed the door open and walked in. The other two women walked in behind her and closed the door. They wore matching white pajama bottoms.

“I’m Teresa,” the one who had pushed the door spoke. She was wearing an orange pajama top with the word ‘Angel,’ in silver. “And this is Sally,” she pointed to the girl with the green top that read ‘Sugar.’

“This is Bon-Bon,” Teresa pointed to the third woman. Anna stared at Bon-Bon who was wearing a pink top with the word ‘Favorite Lady,’ on it. An Angel, a Sugar, and a Favorite Lady, Anna smiled, who bought their clothes anyways? After a few seconds, Teresa cleared her throat. Anna looked at her and then back at Bon-Bon.

“Oh,” she took a breath, “I’m Anna.”

“Anna,” Teresa repeated. “Nice to meet you.” Sally and Bon-Bon repeated after her. Strange, Anna thought.

Teresa moved around the room and picked up Anna’s small jersey bag. Teresa brought the bag in front of Sally and Bon-Bon.

“She’s a stray.” Teresa said matter-of-factly. Both Sally and Bon-Bon nodded their smile fading and returning quickly. Anna had noticed.

“A Stray?” Anna asked as Teresa put the bag on the bed.

“Yes, a stray.” Teresa continued and studied Anna from head to toe. “Heik used to bring home lots of strays.” She said as she looked at Anna’s light olive colored arms, then her legs.

“Every night.” Sally added.

“Then Heik stopped.” Bon-Bon finished.

Anna stared at the three women. They knew a lot about this Heik. Oh, Heik was the one who brought her from Saharra’s. Yes, a strange person like that would have a name like ‘Heik.’ Anna looked at the women. Even though they were wearing similar clothes, each one had different features. Teresa was milk chocolate with black hair. Sally had big blue eyes, blonde hair, and a tan. Bon-Bon was pale and of some oriental descent. Anna couldn’t figure out but she figured it was safe to consider Bon-Bon Asian.

“Were you three strays?” Anna asked. Bon-Bon nodded while Sally smiled.

“Yes we were.” Teresa said. She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I bet Heik paid a fortune to free you.” She added and nodded. “Yep, your type is sacred, exotic.”

Anna smiled half shocked at what Teresa said. Yes, she hadn’t thought about how he got her or if he paid her. But, knowing that she was scared, exotic type made her feel good. Oddly enough, she was worth something to someone. Heik paid for her freedom. Heik must have. She opened her mouth to say something but someone knocked at the door.

Anna walked to the door to find the butler.

“James,” Teresa said as she smiled and raised her hands to her head. “However did you know I was here!” She teased. James blushed a bit and cleared his throat.

“Oh, James,” Sally continued. She brought her hands to her heart and made as if she was clutching in sweet ardor. Bon-Bon raised her right hand to her head. She was going to say something when James cut in.

“Ladies. To your rooms.” He said and they giggled and walked out of the room. Anna laughed. The people in this place were sure weird.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

End of Worry

[Day 8. NaPoWriMo prompt: Go outside. That’s about it. Take a walk, on this lovely Sunday. Or a drive. (Or if it’s not lovely where you are at all, maybe just remember your last good walk or drive). Take along a notebook if you can. Take notes. Maybe take a picture or two. And then sit down in a park or in your yard or on the corner, and write.]

Drowsy traffic passed by
Heavy air crushed my
Stagnant thoughts
As my sunburned feet
Curled against the
Shade-cooled grass
All thoughts paused
A much needed
Downtime to an 
Overcaffeinated body

Black the Color

[Day 7. NaPoWriMo prompt: "Pick a color, any color. And now write a poem in which everything is that color (or, at least, that color predominates)." I don't think I did this one right. A couple of lines are inside jokes.]

of my heart
of the tangy rinds
of self-disappointing thoughts

of my wardrobe
of the few pairs
of torn-up shoes

of my sight
of the world I dream in
of the imperfect love

of my soul
of the sticky cobwebs
of the repressed feelings

[More poetry a day poems]

G-Good Intentions

Love seems to be a recurring theme in my poetry. Maybe, it's because it's a recurring theme in life. I always say that “love is all about where you feel it and how you feel it,” which makes it seem that love is more of a feeling and less of an action (ie to make love). It could be both though, I think.

Love is very tricky. Sometimes, people feel love for a person who doesn't love them back. Every other post I see on Reddit has to do with the 'friend zone' where guys (mostly) have to settle for friendship. They either didn't admit to their feelings at the right time or they got rejected. Most men describe it as the worst place to be, something like a hell on Earth. Must be pretty awful for the guy.

But, would it be any less or more awful if a woman became friendzoned? What if this girl could never force herself to confess? I was thinking, maybe since I'm a girl and I've felt love before... what if I wrote a collection of poems for the friendzoned women out there?

Call it something like Rose Colored Lenses; Jaded Prescription. My intentions are good. I'm not aiming to write about the injustice of the situation, or the cruelty of being friend zoned. I just want to write a narrative-based collection. Just as an iea as to what a girl with a one-sided love feels. Wish me luck.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Why You Should Shop at Lady Vance & Co

Well, I want to say because it has my name on it. But, I can't be that vain (at least not right now). Lady Vance & Co is a one of my dreams. I always dreamed that I wanted a store. In my dream, this store was about six stories high with a book store, a cafe, a fashion section, and a lot of open spaces for people to gather and communicate.

Thanks to modern logistics, I reduced that dream to a e-store. I wanted to call it the Chinese Gun Emporium, but that name got shot down instantly by everyone. So instead, I settled for two e-stores. One is a place for books and magazines (On Impression Books) and a place for fashion and other trinkets (Lady Vance & Co).

Thanks to my awesome friends who are helping with On Impression, On Impression Books boasts 3 e-books available at Amazon. And thanks to my awesome friends Lady Vance & Co features hand-crafted necklaces by me and hand-crafted books by a friend.

So why should you shop at Lady Vance & Co? Because the necklaces are beautiful!

At the time of this post,
there are only 6 necklaces available to purchase.

Friday, April 6, 2012


Fuzzy clouds.

Foreshadowing is difficult. At least I think so based on faulty writer and righteous editor experience. There are probably a whole bunch of ways to describe foreshadowing, but I just thought of an easy one to remember (read as for me to remember).

Think of... a big cloud. This cloud is blue, and it represents your big idea for the story and it holds a good number of clues to what your story is about. This big blue cloud will be shortened into a smaller cloud, let's make it pink. This pink cloud will have more clues, and ultimately will be a more clearer perspective of what your story is about. Maybe it will have a climax or something similar. Finally, this pink cloud will change into a gray cloud. In the gray cloud the story will finally reach to it's purpose.

So what's the purpose of starting a story with a big cloud if you might only want the smaller cloud? Well, reading is not all about the purpose. It's a lot like life, it's about the journey too.

Plus, visualizing blue clouds change into smaller clouds is cool.

[More A to Z Challenge posts]


[Day 6. aprpad prompt: Write a hiding poem.]

Like Nerfertiti's grave
I know it's somehwere
But, I'd need some
Modern medicine probing
To find the squandered
Elusive specimen of
What used to be
So I can sew it back to me

[More poetry a day poems]

A Snake

[Day 6. NaPoWriMo. Write a poem about an animal.]

It slithers, and slides
I do not like snakes
Glides even, through
But when I'm tired
the Dunes of this time
And I'm dancing
Supposedly since the
I imagine myself
beginning of Our Time
Floundering Freely
It's flawless maneuvers
Becoming a part of
make it seem like the
Electronic beats
ground quivers as it
Modern dance tempos
passes through delicately
Like a slithering
leaving small tracks
Flawless snake

[More poetry a day poems]


Erotica is an interesting word. The history and usage of the word is almost as 'hot and weathered' as the entire genre itself. To me, the genre has a certain pace, a template, if you'd like. It almost like the rhythm of Madonna's song by the same title (note, the music... not the words and other sound effects).

Early on I concluded that the Internet is for porn. OK, maybe not all of the Internet is for porn, but a huge portion of porn-interested viewers will be watching porn on the Internet. Likewise, a huge portion of erotica-interested readers will be searching and reading erotica. I can't boast to being the best erotica writer ever. But, I can surmise a quantitative list of male and female appreciative readers. Mostly readers who read my works at Salon de Madame Odalys (NSFW. Don't kid yourself, if you click that link you will see 'boobs,' you've been warned.) and the selective number of readers who inspired a few poems/stories.

Writing erotica doesn't make me a sex fiend or anything stereotypically related to sex. In fact, I can be pretty conservative! It's just a facet of life, and I write about life. I'm not sure when I'll update Salon de Madame Odalys with a new creation, but you will be able to find a story of mine in Felt Tips.

[More A to Z posts]

D-Dudes Who Like Dudes

D is for Dudes who like Dudes. I like saying that phrase. It's like, almost risque for me since I'm not a dude. Dudes who like dudes, I mean, Men who like men are cool. They're cool because they have their own song. It's titled Men in Love by Gossip.

My first experience with the topic of male homoeroticism occured some time after my senior year in high school. I learned of this thing called "fan fiction" where people who liked a show or book created alternative universes where these characters continued to live. I can't get you an accurate number, but I'm convinced that the majority of fan fiction is slash (male homoerotic) stories. I browsed through the fan fiction site, trying to recognize some shows. I settled with Inuyasha, even though I hardly watched the shows or read the manga. But, it was a familiar name, and at that time I wanted to read about something familiar.

The first few stories featured Inuyasha and a male character doing the deed. Eye-opening. Totally eye-opening in textual form. I had no idea what guys could do to guys in the name of passion. Feeling my curiosity satisfied, I looked for some straight Inuyasha stories for a really long time until I found a Point-of-View (POVs) story which is also like a narrative. I read a couple of the lines, skipped through all the lines about sex, then closed the site and never went to it again for a really long time. I was done with fan fiction but I was still very curious about eroticism, especially literary erotica.

Fast forward to October 2011 when I met a gay erotica female writer. It wasn't that bad, it didn't offend me or make me feel weird. However, fast forward a whole bunch of time to some time last year. I sat in my reading spot with a "best of gay erotica" book. I had my bottle of water next to me and my reading pillows set in place while I prepared my mind for anything and everything. I read a couple of stories before I decided quits. Quits, to fetish stories and POVs for the most part. I think, I just can't connect with men enough to enjoy a male written gay erotica.

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Enhance No 7 & Reflections

Click to visit Enhance.

It was never my intention to take a break after Enhance No 6 (Bring Poetry Back). It just happened. Friends and family kept telling me to slow down, to take a break, get some sleep, and sometimes they remind me to eat. Let's just say that I never listen. It was interesting, back then, everything sort of started falling. I didn't know at the time that things were falling into place (to where I am at now), so I did the most natural thing... I freaked the fuck out. Change! Who doesn't freak out when that happens? So I took a break.

I did a lot of reflecting, maybe too much reflecting. I spent day after day trying to figure out a way to end credit, a way to make corporations less powerful... a way to make it easier for writers to make maximum profit out of their works without costly agents and having publishers reap a majority of the rewards. In short, I spent a whole lot of time thinking of everything and doing a lot of nothing. I didn't write; I didn't create new designs. Halfway through my reflections, I thought a lot about what On Impression and what Enhance meant to me. I wondered about what they meant to my career and came up with some strange meanings. Meanings, such as... Enhance is an art project for me to make cool designs. Or, On Impression is a company that will promote writers regardless if they only publish once with us.

Maybe, those weren't too strange. Regardless, by that time I was itching for some hardcore work. I wanted to get back into the game of editing, designing, and writing. Some things changed, though. Instead of publishing Enhance four times per year, I'd publish three times. Instead of just promoting a free copy, we'll be selling print and e-versions of Enhance. Instead of cramming production into one week, we'd take a whole month. The result, a magical issue.

I want to thank David and Nathan for helping me edit and all the contributors for lending me their work for this issue. You guys rock, and you know it. But, the real rockstars are all the readers. I could make hundreds of magazines, but if it weren't for the readers, the magazines will never feel appreciated. That, is the magical part about publishing.

Thursday, April 5, 2012


My daily reminder not to comment on public forums.
Everyone loves someecards. I'm pretty sure it's the most popular e-cards available right now. I remember when e-cards were full of animated gifs, music, multiple pages, and games! You know, the early 2000s. (Why do I all of a sudden feel old?)

Before, I attempted the art of re-feeding paper into a printer, I would create my cards in Microsoft Works. One page, print it; fold in half twice. In those days I would attempt to write a cute poem/phrase for the inside as well as a cute drawing for the front of the card. As a result, I learned to really like customized cards.

I don't care if people make one design and then print a whole bunch of cards. No, I love it! I get all giggly inside when they're addressed to me!

@tiffanyreisz  sent me a custom Christmas Card! Check her out at  
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I like books. I'm not going to lie, I enjoy almost all books. Yes, even romance novels. I like books for three reasons.

Absent from this are the 10 or so books near my desk and bed.

One. Printed books are cool. The saddle stitched, the sewn together, the hand made, the mass printed... all these books are pretty cool. All books have a front cover, back cover, and inside pages. Some have exquisite typography and some don't.

Two. Some are more interesting than others. An accounting 101 book isn't necessarily 'easy' reading, but it doesn't mean that it's not a cool book! It's a great resource for when I have to do taxes. Same way, that Rocky and the Senator's Daughter was a cool book because it helped me procrastinate. Spoiler, the romance was... ok.. I still don't understand why I keep reading these books.

10 Stories Down by Vincent F.A. Golphin
Three. Books hold a special part of a person. Be it the author, the designer, or the manufacturer. I just recently read 10 Stories Down, by one of my old professors because I was interested in what he had to write. I liked what I read and I hope he sells so many books that the publisher will have to make a second and third run!

By the looks of it, this A to Z blog challenge might not be that hard.

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April Platform Challenge

Platform, what is it? Basically it's a following. People think a following can be translated into X amount of followers on Twitter/Facebook, but it can also be translated into X amount of people who like you and your writing. Ideally, you want everyone to like you and your writing. Realistically, your family will support your writing because it makes you happy. Friends will support your writing because they like you, and strangers will support you because they can relate to you.

Getting strangers to support you from a marketing and public relations perspective can be hard. At least for me, so I couldn't have found the April Platform Challenge by Robert Lee Brewer at the right moment. This blog post will be edited (almost every day) to reflect the challenge. Mostly, because I want to see my progress without confusing myself.


(Day 1. A to Z Blogging Challenge.)

So, on the first of April, I decided I was going to attempt a whole bunch of April challenges. Why? Because I'm nuts like that. I figured, if I'm going to be serious about putting together my first poetry collection, then I might as well write a whole bunch.

Thus, I laid out my plan in the post April, the month of folly. Since then, I have started four April challenges. So, here are my thoughts.

The first is the April Poetry a Day Challenge by Robert Lee Brewer/Writer's Digest. This one is easy. Each day has a prompt that actually inspires me to write something, or attempt to write the prompt. I feel like the prompts are so generic that there is no way you can't be inspired. So, yay!

April Platform Challenge, also by Robert Lee Brewer on Robert's personal blog. At first when I heard about this prompt by @FoggyLilCatFeet I figured I'd give it a shot silently. You know, those types of "I'm doing the challenge but I'm not going to share my results," type thing. The fourth day of the challenge changed that. I think I followed 30-some writers yesterday who are also attempting the challenge. Somehow, I feel that's going to keep me more involved and more vocal about the challlenge. It shall be interesting.

NaPoWriMo, the April is poetry month challenge by Maureen Thorson is difficult. I'm not sure if it's difficult because I'm making it difficult or because the prompts are very specific and very narrow. Like, writing a triolet, or a poem about baseball; I'm not sure. It is a very interesting and challenging experience so far.

The fourth challenge: April A to Z challenge. The gist is to write a new post everyday with the theme of the day starting with a letter from the alphabet. Of course, this would mean starting with the letter A. I'm particularly happy about finding this challenge because it'll (hopefully) kickstart my prose writing ability for Story a Day in May. Well, and ultimately encourage me to start blogging more often.

So yeah, here's to April being a fun writing month!

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9831 BCE

Day 5. Poetic Asides prompt: write a poem about something before your time.

Highly important year for
our evolutionary backstory
Neolithic Revolution, in short,
political power is justified
by religious prestige

Red ochre lined burials
from the East to the West
from the South to the North
Broken female figurines remain
in the archeological tombs

Not a lot has changed since then,
religious prestige sits on the
manufactured breakfast feast
Women's reproductive rights,
beaten into submission

More poetry a day poems