Friday, November 30, 2012

November Challenges Wrap-Up


As much as I anticipated the end of October, I can't quite say I've enjoyed every last bit of November. I've neglected upon my writing duties, and especially discarded any attempt at creating a new poem for Robert Lee Brewer's November Poetry Challenge. But, that's ok. I completed 2/3rds of the prompts and am very satisfied with my results.

However, I did want to finish the November Gratitude Challenge. I know that I'm not an ungrateful brat, but somehow I couldn't come around to post 30 posts worth of things that I'm grateful for. And Amanda Socci made it seem so easy, her 30 posts are wonderful!

Really, though, it's just that I'm so thankful for everything that separating it into 30 different posts is difficult. I'm thankful for the opportunities I've come across  my family, the readers that hang out my blog, the bloggers that I read, the work out burn from working out too much sometimes, the bed sheet that keeps me warm at night, the couch I sleep on, my hair because it's awesome... everything. I'm extremely grateful for all that abounds and all that will be.

My gratitude cannot be expressed in words. And yeah, even though sometimes I feel like the world's going to end because not everything is perfect... I'm extremely happy to be who I am and am extremely grateful for everything.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Thinking of You

Prompt 21 by Bruce Niedt: Take a random list of five song titles – the source could be a shuffled MP3 playlist, a CD, the next five songs on your favorite radio station, etc. Use as many of these titles as you can in a poem.

Thinking of You

It's 5 o'clock in the morning
I'm sitting alone by the easel
A 2HB pencil in my hand
Retracing the outlines of your eyes

I've only been thinking of you
For at least 15 minutes straight
But it feels like you're the star
In 5 times out 500 instances

But you aren't mine
You're number one in heaven
And I'm just the smeared lead
On this large canvas

Songs: #1 in heaven by MNDR
2HB by The Venus in Furs
5 O'clock in the Morning by Lily Allen
5 Times Out of 500 by Hot Hot Heat
15 minutes by The Strokes

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna



I'm reposting my first collection of anything. The first major project in my young life, a collection of 13 movie reviews. You can say that these movie reviews spawned my hobby of watching movies and sort of "learning" from them.

You can read the entire collection here.

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Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna

First, this movie made me cry a lot. Second, this movie has a great cast. Third, this movie has ridiculously hilarious moments and incredibly sad moments mixed in really well. Lastly, this is a wonderful unconventional tragedy-romance film. Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna is unconventional because it features the love affair of Dev (Shahrukh Khan) and Maya. (Another Maya!) The film starts out with a sports scene just like in Chak de India, however instead of hockey it’s soccer (aka for the rest of the world football).

In the beginning, Dev is a successful soccer player married to Rhea, his college friend and super-hard-working woman. The beginning switches between scenes from Dev’s soccer match and Rhea’s job interview with a fashion magazine. At the same time, the beginning switches between scenes with Maya’s dressing room and Rishi’s after-party hangover. I could tell this movie had some tragedy to it. It’s clear in the way Maya stares at her reflection and moves her engagement ring around. It’s also clear in Rhea’s interview:

“Yes,” Rhea says at her interview with confidence in her smile. “I’m married and I have a son. And just to make it clear, I keep my personal life and professional life separate.”

“That’s all very well Mrs. Saran…” responds Jai, the magazine representative. “But our fashion magazine needs a lot of time…”

“Your magazine does not need time. It needs me.”

At the same time, Dev scores the championship goal and he’s extremely happy. He’s the happiest man alive in that scene. The scene then changes to Sam, Rishi’s over-sexual philandering father, and Rishi getting ready for the wedding. Scene change again, Rhea calls Dev while Dev is celebrating his victory.

“Dev I got the job!”

“What?” Dev says as he walks into the locker room.

“I got the job!”

“Wow! That’s amazing. You got the job! Guys,” Dev turns around to his excited comrades, “Rhea got the job!”

“What is this noise?” Rhea speaks into the phone, her eyebrows drawn in, as she walks down the street. “I can’t hear a thing..”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Just a small match that we won.”

“Oh yeah! The match... of course. I’m so sorry. I forgot completely.”

“Rhea, I’m your husband. Just don’t forget that.” Dev replies jokingly.

“Shut up, Dev. And congratulations baby!”

Rhea proceeds to ask him about the match. Dev replies with a short list of details and then reproaches her that she should have attended. She accepts that she should but then reminds him that she had an interview, which of course is just as important as his match.

“I know sweetheart,” Dev sneers. “I know. You know what. We’ll fix up the next match after checking with your busy schedule.” 

“Dev…”

“And if you have the time to just have a look at my five million dollar contract.”

“Five million dollars!?”

“Why? Jealous? That now I earn more than you?”

“Not jealous baby. Happy. Happy that your dream has come true.”

“Our dream,” Dev corrects her, “Rhea.”

“Yeah, I know.” She continues and tells him that she’ll be picking up Arjun, their son, from school and that Dev should pick up Kamal, his mom, from the wedding. Dev puts in one more phrase about how ‘forgetful,’ she is, she wishes him happy anniversary, and the scene changes to Maya’s and Rishi’s wedding.

This is where the characters meet each other. First, Sam and Kamal meet. Then, Dev finds Maya sitting on a bench and they connect. Kind of like falling in step with a stranger in a new place and knowing you’ll be safe because you’re alike. Instead of leaving Maya alone Dev decides to converse with her and sit on the bench. He counsels her on life, love, and well marriage. He tells and hints to her about his ‘marriage,’ and convinces her to marry Rishi. It’s really a great exchange. Maya is not so nice to Dev and Dev is not so mean to her. It’s like watching best friends talk about their opposing views.

It was around 9 or 10 in the evening when I watched the film and I sat there fully awake, absorbing the little philosophical tidbits from the exchange. Phrases like, “What can be better than spending your entire life with your friend?” Also, “The sagas of everlasting romances have long gone past. Just learn to make do with tiny love stories.” Both of these quotes represent my “real” point of view on love and romantic relationships. I do believe in true love, love at first sight, and everlasting love; but I also believe that this kind of love doesn’t happen to everyone.

I see many of my friends, as well as myself, face love and pain repeatedly because the person they choose to love isn’t the “right one.” It’s a constant cycle of pain and pain and it sucks. Tiny love stories don’t work, they’re pointless, and fill your life with meaningless euphoria. Tiny love stories drift away on a rainy day while you clutch to your heart thinking, “why, why, why.”

Anyways, at the end of the exchange Dev says goodbye to Maya. But, Maya responds, “Not goodbye. Goodbye kills the hope of meeting again. And who knows, we may meet again.” Then, there’s the magical parting. Maya walks toward her wedding and Dev walks toward his future. They both look back to see if the other is truly leaving. Maya makes it safely to her wedding while a car hits Dev and leaves him crippled. There goes $5 million dollars, there goes Dev’s future, and there goes the first Incredibly Sad Moment of the film.

Losing your future is freaking sad. Four years go by, Rhea becomes wealthy, successful, and the head of the household. Dev becomes mean, angry, obsessed with is failure, and utterly dismayed with himself. Rhea’s success becomes Dev’s personal landmine around his heart. Maya’s marriage life isn’t going too well either. Maya doesn’t love Rishi and lives with the guilt of being infertile.

Maya and Dev meet again at the train station. Dev is the best father in the world, and literally scares his son. See, the Dolphins, the children soccer team Dev coaches, lost badly. Dev is more than upset that Arjun refuses to play soccer and would rather play the violin. Of course, Dev being the stereotypical mean dad takes all this out on his son… in public.

Dev specifically tells him, “I’m going to cut you into tiny pieces and put them in a Jamba juice mix. I like children’s Jamba juice. Shut up! Idiot! Are we going to stand here all day? Come with me now and don’t you dare get lost again. Come.”

Dev says all this while there’s the rumor of “Black Beast” a dangerous criminal who kidnapped several children from Central Park. Maya hears Dev talking to Arjun and immediately reacts as a schoolteacher and tries to stop the “Black Beast,” from taking another child. In the confusion, Maya steals Arjun and Dev confuses Maya for the “Black Beast.”

Both Maya and Dev wind up at the hospital and both Rishi and Rhea have to pick up their respective spouses. While at the hospital though, Dev is mistaken for the “trauma patient,” and is sedated. It’s like watching two best friends again when Maya and Dev finally meet in the hospital room. Maya complains about her sprain, Dev complains about his crippled fate, Maya blames Dev for marrying Rishi, and they discuss whether the marriage is a “good or bad thing.” Then, Dev asks, “are you happy?” and Maya throws the question back into his face.

Dev is just a jerk. It’s like taking my jerk personality and painting Shahrukh Khan. I immediately connected with Dev and that felt sad. Seriously, who likes to connect to the mean characters in a film? I don’t. But, even if Dev is a jerk he says something really important in that scene:

“…Are you able to fill your emptiness with all this? Because your life is empty, incomplete. It shows in your eyes. Just like mine.”

Yeah, Dev has it right. It really does show in our eyes. Everything shows, not just that freaking huge emptiness of a void. It’s really hard to fill that void. But, we try or pretend to try. We fill this void with cheap euphoria, tiny love stories, movies, and books. We fill it by writing, singing, religion, and all other sorts of things. This void is a psychological and philosophical entity filling us. This is the reason why I kept watching Shahrukh Khan films. This is the reason why this movie really moved me. I cried at every heart-clutching moment.

I cried for Rishi’s pain (when your love isn’t returned), for Rhea’s pain (when your love is a jerk), for Maya’s pain (when you’re married to a man you don’t love but he loves you to the end of time), and for Dev’s pain (when even love isn’t enough to fill the void you have created). Another way to describe Dev’s pain (in the words of Maya): “Your life is empty and your dreams unfilled. That’s why you keep searching for the same in others’ lives. You are an unhappy man and will always be.”

After this, Dev and Maya realize that they’re in similar situations and they help repair their breaking marriages. Things don’t do so well and a bond forms as they regroup. At the same time Rishi and Rhea cling to every hint that their marriages can be saved. But, Maya and Dev fall in love. In the midst of their trying to “repair their marriages,” Maya and Dev deceive Rishi and Rhea into thinking that their marriages can be saved.

They’re found out and divorces happen left and right; then, Maya and Dev separate. Then, there’s this epic crying moment, an epic death in the family, and an epic moving away to another state scene. Yes, this is the short version. Read more on Wikipedia or watch the movie, it’s worth it. There’s a lot of incredibly sad moments, though, so if you watch it be prepared. Also, in the midst of incredibly sad moments there is this deep and saddening music that the jerk better half of me cried “haha, loser!”

In the end there’s more crying moments but Maya, Dev, Rishi, and Rhea find happiness. So, it has a happy ending. I’m not sure about the Hollywood film industry, but the same circle of actors appear in Shahrukh Khan films. I didn’t know at the time that Amitabh Bachchan played the part as Sam while his son played Rishi. I was extremely excited though, because Amitabh Bachchan played Tiger, a young and reckless man, in Hum and Hum is probably the first Bollywood movie I actually wanted to see.

It’s really great because I see Shahrukh Khan becoming a respected actor like Amitabh Bachchan. I mean, right now Amitabh is playing older-gentleman roles and I really think Shahrukh will do that in 10-15 years from now. That is, if the rumors about Shahrukh’s sexuality, philandering, ego, and all the others don’t destroy his career. They probably won’t, but you never know in this world.

I dried my tears and cued up Kuch Kuch Hota Hai… which translates to “something happens,” and yeah; something totally happened.


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Monday, November 26, 2012

Dearest Bumblebee

Prompt No 13 by Michael Grove: write a recipe poem or write a letter poem.
Dearest Bumblebee

Sting me as I turn my panicking head.
Bring your stinging friends.
Make merry with your stingers
Until you've grown weary and calm.

Then I'll provoke you.
You'll sting once more
Until my senses light on fire.
Then sting me more!

I call for a bumblebee
Stinging fire brigade.
Push me to that fiery end.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Beast Recipe


Day 2 Prompt by Khara House: Write a full moon poem.

Beast Recipe

a hunger for blood
and a thirst for pain
a spoonfull of lust
makes us all a tad insane
mull and churn into a fine powder
under the full moon's power
preheat the earth to 450
drop into an urn
and shoot with a pistol
until it's raining crazy
making monsters of us all

Monday, November 19, 2012

MM 19 Nov 2012

You can listen to this playlist at Grooveshark, on Spotify, or in the embedded playlist below.


 

Track List
  1. 1901 - Phoenix
  2. Ask Me Anything - The Strokes
  3. Joy Ride - The Killers
  4. Fall in Love with the Enemy - MNDR
  5. L.S.F. - Mark Ronson ft Kasabian
  6. Chewing Gum - Annie
  7. Fascination - La Roux

Friday, November 16, 2012

Socks

Prompt No 1 by Mariya Koleva: Write a matches poem.

Socks

Mismatched, maybe washed
Maybe long, maybe short
Maybe warm, maybe not
Maybe thick, maybe thin
Multicolor, any color
I don't care
As long as they're found
As long as they're warm
As long as they're a nice fit
As long as they're not torn
As long as they're not too worn
Bonus points if they're black

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

An Illusion

Prompt 14 by Catherine Lee: Write a stuck poem.

An Illusion

Stuck on an illusion
Of a time long gone
That seems like yesterday

Only reopening wounds
That bind me tighter
Into a web of distrust

Stuck in a bottle, sinking
Deeper under the waves
Drifting away from today

Monday, November 12, 2012

Babe Technology

Prompt 12 comes from Jane Shlensky. Write about a piece of technology or engineering that does not exist but that should.

Babe Technology


Mind readers, baby.
I don't want to know
What you're thinking.
But, boy would it be nice
To know when to avoid you.
Get a nice big patch on your
Head adorned with a color
Code. Any color other than
Pleasant is my cue to
GTFO.

OK maybe that's intrusive.
A rage meter bracelet, babe.
Complete with ticking and
Beeping. Ticking indicates you're
Safe, beeping means my life
Is coming to an end.
Please, don't kill me.
I love you.
There's a bit of precipitation on
Your eyebrows, love.
I think I need a walk.

Day 1: Gratitude for the Infinite


The infinite also known as the world or life and everything in between. It doesn't seem that this world is infinite at times, especially when we pay attention to individual doctrines and philosophies, but it is. It's mostly perception, the way we see things defines what infinity is and isn't. And my perception is skewed by science and a deep rooted love in everything.

Everything, the skies, people, pets, bugs, OK maybe not all bugs. Everything is a unified whole, an infinite life form of many experiences and moments. There is no perceived end and there is no definite beginning, and I'm OK with that. I don't need to know the beginning nor the end to our life around us, I just want to experience the world experiencing itself.

I'm perfectly content and accept that our world, our infinite combinations, everything is made of great things and not so great things. It's all a beautiful tapestry and I'm eternally grateful for it all.

In Command



Part five. What is fact versus fabrications, though, is something we may never truly know.

~~~

In Command


Make it Hurt – In Command

First grade and second grade were easy. I went to school, did school work, hung out with myself, hid from my peers, and daydreamed a lot. I don't really remember what I daydreamed about. But, I do remember a moment from first grade.

I sat, legs crossed in my shorts. The teacher called us to be quiet, probably for a lesson. I immediately became quiet awaiting further instructions.

A classmate turned to me and gave me a disapproving face. “You're just being quiet because you want candy.” She accused.

I... “No, I'm not.” I replied curtly and turned away.

Bewilderment sneaked in. Candy? Rewards? Those must be children ulterior motives for behaving well, but they weren't for me. See, when I was a kid going through crazy kid things, I did the most natural thing for me. I looked for something I could do well. Reason being that if I did something well then I'd have something to show for myself. Not just that, (and I can picture kid me telling myself):

If I misbehaved, then my parents would be called and that'd cause problems. So, I wasn't going to misbehave, I'd behave and then my parents wouldn't be called and I'd be left alone.

Behaving meant good grades and being smart, somehow. Relatively smart, actually. Being smart can mean lots of things. For example, I aced my exams. Did I ace my exams because I studied? No. I aced my exams because I'd reason the answers efficiently. Especially if it were math exams. I love math. I'm at home with math. Math is so practical, simple, clear cut, and amazing. In comparison to writing which is complex and disorderly most times. But, if you throw some fireworks into writing you can almost, just barely, get writing to appear practical, clear cut, and amazing.

My miniature plan to do well in school so that I could have more time to daydream and just be on my own worked perfectly. So perfectly, that I got to skip out on a couple of math worksheets. One time I even got to color for the teacher. I was just a smug elementary school kid coloring away while classmates worked hard at acquiring knowledge.

Smug little me. I don't know if it was pure luck or incredible sneakiness that I chose learning. No, no, it was probably my body insecurities that led me to seeking knowledge. No, maybe I was just predestined to it. We'll never know. Sometimes I think I was predestined to like words. No one remembers, or don't want to remember, what my first words as a child were. But I have memories of three important words: uña, turtle, and trunk.

Uña is Spanish for fingernail. It was in my 'transitioning into English' worksheets. After I completed the worksheets I took a test. I had to sit in front of the teacher while she read English words to me. Then I had to write down and spell the words correctly. I just remember being so proud of myself that I could spell turtle. Turtle is such a strange word to someone who is transitioning into English.

Smug little me was so smart that eventually I got asked to participate in a spelling bee. I had a list of words to read through and memorize. I stood on the podium while another teacher asked me to spell trunk.

“Trunk.” I repeated the word like I had practices spelling things in private.

“Trunk.” Gee, man what was a trunk again?

Tree trunk, back of the car trunk. Elephant's trunk. So many images appeared in my head but the spelling eluded me. Needless to say, I did not participate in the second round of the spelling bee. It didn't bother me that I didn't win. I took my chance, I didn't succeed. There would always be another adventure waiting for me. I just knew it. I had faith in me, in my child abilities. I had some sort of reason behind my childhood madness.

No, I had some kind of drive. I was happy with myself and with my life. I had very little expectations and I met them. Time of my life, really. Then life happened again.

~~~

Thursday, November 8, 2012

I'll have to say

Prompt 8 by Daniel Ari. Talk back to a dead poet. I chose "This is just to say" by Williams Carlos Williams.

I'll have to say

I was looking
forward to
the plums
you've eaten

I was so desolate
and dissapointed
I hit my head
with the freezer door

You've ruined
breakfast
fucking
bastard

Read more poetry a day poems.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Win

Prompt 5 by Amanda Laughtland. Write a text message poem.

Win

> And the people were happy
< Because they had tacos
> I like tacos
< I like tacos too
< Tacos are existentially awesome
> Win
> Bahnahnah

This poem is actually very similar to my "drunk texting myself" post and my "phone habits" post.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Lost


Prompt 3 by Joshua Gray:  Write a poem that scares you.

Lost

Hours lost in the corner room
Pen in hand, notebook on the bed
Scribble, scribble
Scribble, scribble, tear
Tear, tear, tear
Tear, tear, tear

One sheet torn, two sheets torn
But the words are lost
Or safely hidden
Not wanting to walk on paper
Scribble, scribble, tear
Tear, tear, tear