Friday, February 1, 2013

Delicate


Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week Lillie McFerrin will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word. The word does not have to appear in the five sentences, just use it for direction. Today's word is delicate.

...


She's dressed in the magnificent sapphire necklace I forged with the bluest silver in the country. She sits across the room, holding a crystal glass with the deepest red wine in the world.

She laughs at her suitor, "Yes, the great smith Andres made this necklace."

Her suitor looks at my direction and move his chair closer to her. I look away.

...

6 comments:

  1. This is really lovely. You've managed to convey his secret love for the lady, that clearly is no secret to the suitor. Excellent!

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  2. To begin with I found this a little too superlative, using BLUEST/DEEPEST. At the same deep it had tension as the father [Andres] watch his daughter being courted.

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  3. I love this little love triangle and that the suitor knows and feels threatened. Good job on the prompt. xx

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  4. Well done. This one says a lot in only a few words.
    McGuffy's Reader
    http://www.mcguffysreader.blogspot.com

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  5. Thanks for the comments! I love writing short, and love it when it makes sense!

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  6. Very succinct and said everything it should. Her beau should be worried! Like Jayne said there's no question who the suitor is!

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